CHRISTCHURCH, NEW ZEALAND (ANS) — Where are the single Christian men? And why does the Church by and large still not know what to do with the older single Christian?
 
FRUSTRATION: A lot of the men who are of marriageable age don't know how to pursue women properly. ... They are all looking for Pamela Anderson, because of the media. ... They're all going for looks first, instead of character - it's a huge problem in the Church at the moment.
 
For at least a century women have generally outnumbered men in the Western Church. According to Barna research in the United States, there are between 11 million and 13 million more born-again women than born-again men there, and according to 2000 American census findings, there are 86 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women.

No one knows the equivalent figures in New Zealand. Some say that women predominate because church is culturally more feminine, but inquiries show that despite major changes in the way churches do things – with more culturally relevant services – there is still a big imbalance of the sexes across most age groups.

Women seeking partners are as frustrated as they ever were.

And the societal shift towards “girls can do anything” doesn’t appear to have helped greatly.

Robyn Burnett, aged 30 and single, a staff member at one of Christchurch’s larger churches – Hornby Presbyterian Community Church – says that in the 25 to 35 age group she can think of only three single men, against 10 women. Among older singles, there are two men and 10 women.

“The majority of women are looking for partners. The common complaint is that the men are either too young or they’re married. It seems to be women left single – I don’t know why.

“Perhaps the Church is not attracting guys. Churches tend to be very emotional kind of places, which is much more attractive to a woman than a guy, generally speaking.”

A nationwide friendship group, Christian Friendship Fellowship, holds social events for members in various cities.

Founder Norma Laing, of Nelson, says that from the inquiries CFF gets, women would outnumber men. “Our membership is largely in the 35 to 45 age group and two-thirds are women.

“Most of the women are probably in the 45 age group, while the men are generally younger. So there is an imbalance of age as well as gender.”

Belinda Devlin, founder of Auckland-based Christian dating agency 74heaven, says they have 50 per cent fewer males on their books. In the 30 to 40 age group there are three times more women, and among 40 to 50s twice as many.

Things even up, though, in the 50-plus group. “This goes against the thought that there are fewer men over 50 for those looking.

“From observation, men in second relationships (usually the 40 to 50 age group) generally find another partner quickly whereas women often have children to care for and recover from a break-up a little slower and are often on their own for a longer length of time.”