Tereze Vermunt says people start out with good intentions, but sometimes get themselves into trouble.

“In all of our churches there will be young couples who fall into sexual relationships, make mistakes and push the boundaries too much, because they are not taught what the boundaries should be – or, more importantly, why we have those boundaries.

“There is definitely more pressure now in the churches, because of the media.”

She believes the Church is not doing sufficient to teach their young people in this area.

“I go to a church that was established for younger people. And there’s no mentoring in this area. I guess the generations before us were not really taught, so they’re not sure how to talk about it, either.

“My generation lacks mentorship. We lack a lot of spiritual guidance – people shining the way. It’s pretty good when you can come across someone older who can talk about it.”

But the Church appears just as uncomfortable dealing with older singles. “There is pressure for Christians to get married and start building the family, perhaps not quite as early as it used to be. I’m 24, and I and my friends were already feeling the pressure.

Robyn Burnett also says the Church does not handle single people well. “They don’t know where to put them, it doesn’t matter how old they are. There’s a feeling, ‘we don’t know where to put them, and that makes us uncomfortable, so we’ll just ignore them.’

“Singles are always included as the young adults because there’s nowhere else for them to go. They don’t fit with the families situation or the couples thing. A lot of single people feel on the outer.

“I don’t know if I’ve come up with an answer as to what the Church can do about this. I think it’s accepting that it’s okay to be single. God loves marriage and family, but he also loves singles.

“It might be hard being single, but it’s hard being married as well.”

© 2006 ASSIST News Service.  All rights reserved.  Used with permission.