Other practical suggestions would be to offer to plan a baby shower, to help paint the baby’s room, or to coordinate meals after she delivers. If you don’t know much about caring for children but you’d like to serve this family in the future, then ask if you can go to some parenting classes with her. If she’s tempted to complain about her appearance as her pregnancy progresses, be sure to tell her often whenever she’s having a good hair day or her skin is glowing. More importantly, encourage her with the eternal perspective that she is being fruitful now – and bless her for it. This is a privilege that we women have, to follow the example of Elizabeth and bless the fruit of another woman’s womb (Luke 1:42).

When the baby comes, keep in mind that it’s an exhausting experience to have an infant. You will no longer be a primary relationship, which is only right. BUT … that doesn’t mean you are no longer valued as a friend. You just have to step back a bit to make room for this addition. And you have to recognize that your friendship may wane a bit as your friend masters motherhood. That doesn’t mean you are not needed.

I had a good friend who seemed to have slipped through the black hole of marriage and motherhood, never to be seen again. What I didn’t know was during that time, she was barely holding on. She had a toddler actively exploring his boundaries and an infant with chronic colic – as in a year filled with daily bouts of crying and fussing. If she was able to get a shower, it was a good day. Much to my shame, I interpreted her silence as a waning interest in our friendship. Only later did I find out how much she was struggling during that time – and I’ve regretted that lapse in our friendship ever since.

Finally, when you are tempted to self-pity or sinful comparisons (most of us are at some point!), remember that marriage and family are the frontlines of spiritual warfare today. Our culture and our spiritual Enemy are warring against God’s standards in these areas. The efforts that you make to be a blessing to this couple and their children are actually very important in this battle. The church is not a facility; the church is a network of relationships built by those who have been purchased by Christ’s own redemption.

So when you babysit for a couple on a date night, you are not just a warm body keeping an eye on a sleeping infant. You are investing your time in the strength and viability of a marriage. As the strength of marriages and families go, so goes the strength of the local church and the credibility of the gospel. It is no small thing to invest in other people’s families. It is a form of spiritual warfare and an investment in an institution under attack.

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