When it comes to compatibility, I like to say, “Read the box before you buy your software.” Will it function with your hardware and operating system? This is all you need to know, and all that information is printed on the package. I can hear you asking now, “Why buy the software when I can download it for free?” Because free downloads are how you get viruses.

Test Driving, a.k.a. “Practice”
I think living together 24/7 is good practice to see if we get along, without having to be trapped in a marriage if it doesn’t work. It’s just not smart to buy a car without test driving it.

The fear of commitment is rampant these days. I know commitment can be a scary thing—especially if you’ve been burned before—but equating living together and test driving (or even leasing!) a car is just wacked. It’s a bad metaphor. No car dealer in his right mind would let you go four-wheeling in the Sahara or drag-racing on the Autobahn in a car you haven’t paid for yet—and the high-speed extreme sport of living with another person makes four-wheeling or drag-racing look like a trip on a merry-go-round. Marriage is like owning a Rolls with the speed of a LOTUS and the safety of a Volvo. Don’t settle for test driving a Geo Metro. It just won’t get you very far.

The sad reality is that cohabitants feel less secure in their relationships than married couples because they view their sexual relationships as less permanent and exclusive. They are less faithful to their partners than spouses. Even when they are faithful, they are less committed to sexual fidelity, which creates more insecurity because “levels of certainty about the relationship are lower than in marriage.”¹¹

Marriage means “I will always be here for you.” Marriage encourages emotional investment in an exclusive relationship. In contrast, cohabitation means, “I will be here only as long as the relationship meets my needs.” Contrary to popular belief, the majority of live-ins don’t lead to marriage! Only an estimated 60 percent end in marriage.¹² Those who are afraid of commitment and permanence—or who fear that these qualities can no longer be found in marriage—may settle for cohabitation, but they are likely to discover they have settled for less. Couples who live together before marriage are 46 percent more likely to divorce than people who marry but never lived together.¹³ No one has ever found that cohabitation makes a positive contribution to later marital stability, regardless of what you see on the latest sitcom.

If failed marriages and relationships aren’t enough to prove that living together is high-risk and low-benefit, check this out: Cohabiting women are more likely than married women to be the victims of physical and/or sexual abuse. Some estimate domestic violence is at least twice and as much as three times as common among live-in couples as it is among married people.¹⁴