"We now have the oldest and the largest singles population in our history," Dr. Beverly Rodgers points out, "and we suspected that as singles would come into our workshops and our counseling office over the years." She and her husband would hear many single clients expressing their confusion and frustration over the dating process or lamenting that "they'd much rather go to work than have to deal with the possibility of a broken heart ways in a relationship.

"We've heard this hundreds of times: 'I'm very successful at work; why can't I be successful at love? I've given up,'" the relationship expert says. "Hearing this over and over and then beginning to look at the demographics and seeing that it was borne out in the entire culture," she explains, "we said we need to write something to that, to speak to the disappearance of matrimony in our culture and the lack of belief by Christians in matrimony, as borne out by the fact that they are not marrying."

Lest anyone become defensive, the authors of "The Singlehood Phenomenon" hasten to say that there is nothing wrong with being single. "We invite singles to enjoy that time in their life tremendously," Dr. Beverly Rodgers says, "as it's an awesome opportunity, not only to do some wonderful traveling and things, but to serve the Lord in ways that you can't serve the Lord when you're married with a family.

"But if what is keeping you single is steeped in fear – and the top ten reasons are all based on fear – then fear is not of God," the counselor observes, "and you then are single because you're afraid ... fear is guiding you." And since the Lord is not the author of fear, she says, "that's when you need to begin to ask the deeper questions."

Some people, after asking those questions and addressing their fears, do discover that they find singlehood enjoyable and fulfilling, Dr. Beverly Rodgers acknowledges. But for the majority, she says, "once they read the reasons, look at the material, and begin to do the work that God has them do, they'll say, 'I want to surrender my life to the Lord and ask Him to help me find a life mate.' And they do."


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