Scott and Anne came to me for premarital counseling. They had both previously been in my youth group. During one session we talked about sexuality. I was pleased to hear they were both virgins; this is usually not the case today, even among Christians. I asked how they had chosen sexual integrity when most of their generation had not. Their answer was insightful. First, they said their parents had talked openly and freely about sex-related issues. Secondly, while in the high school youth group, they had taken a sexual purity pledge very seriously. Thirdly, although they did have a strong sex drive and it had not been easy to wait, they both had made a decision to practice the spiritual discipline of sexual abstinence. Personally, I have found that when young people like Scott and Anne commit to only the physical discipline of sexual abstinence, they do not do as well as those who honor and love God with their eyes, mind, and heart, as well as their body. This all-out commitment to sexual purity is living according to what I call the Purity Code (explained in more detail in chapter 2).

Scott and Anne's wedding was a joyous occasion, and I made it a point to thank both sets of parents for the incredible start they had given the young couple. The parents laughed and said it wasn't always easy. In fact, they said some conversations were downright uncomfortable. But the results were well worth the discomfort. And Scott and Anne were on their way to discovering what authorities have known for years: Sex is better in marriage. Sex is better when couples have a spiritual connection, and sex is not better if you live together before marriage.

You may be wondering, what does this story have to do with me and my family? My kids are still young. Actually, the very best time to introduce healthy sexuality is when children are young. Then you can naturally teach healthy values at the proper developmental stage of life.

Teaching Your Children Healthy Sexuality 

Copyright © 2008 by Jim Burns
Published by Bethany House Publishing, a division of Baker Publishing Group 
PO Box 6287 Grand Rapids MI 49516-6287

Used by permission. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law.