It’s full of obscenities and profanities (Polly says “OMG!” almost every other sentence) and Polly’s children’s book shows a child with an amputated, bleeding arm. Reuben desperately prays to God – who doesn’t answer – about the toilet problem. Lisa’s scuba instructor walks around nude, then they hop into bed together. Reuben spends the night with Polly after their second date. Reuben talks about not being a virgin and Sandy suggests that Reuben use sadomasochism as a sexual technique. He also suggests that Reuben allude to incest in bed, because “girls love it.” Oh yes, women love being molested by their fathers. It’s hysterical

The scene where Polly discovers Reuben inputting “data” about her into his laptop computer was taken directly from Friends, and Polly’s ferret harks back to "There's Something About Mary." But, even when screenwriter/director John Hamburg isn’t stealing from TV and other films, he forgoes the opportunity to deepen his characters. Polly has a serious fear of commitment, which comes from the fact that her father kept a second family on the side. Nevertheless, it’s Reuben who needs to change – and change, he does. At the end of the film, he not only walks around nude, but reassures Polly that he doesn’t want to marry her. He just wants to “take her to dinner.” It’s clear that, in this filmmaker’s mind, marriage only causes pain. Gee, he must be part of Generation X.

“It’s not about the past, or even the future. It’s about the ride, for C-sake,” says one character, which pretty much sums up the message of the film. Live now, for tomorrow we die. Don’t try and patch up your broken marriage, don’t ever forgive, and if you find someone as cute as Jennifer Aniston, then try to make it work – even if it makes you miserable.

If you enjoy watching people with diarrhea and gas, you’ll love "Along Came Polly" – providing you haven’t seen the other movies Hamburg robs from. The scene where Reuben runs out of toilet paper in Polly’s bathroom, using her grandmother’s linen cloth to wipe himself and thus causing the toilet to overflow, is identical to one in "Dumb & Dumber." The urinal scene, where Ben talks with his boss, Stan Indursky (Alec Baldwin, bizarrely cast as a fat, obnoxious Jewish loudmouth who can’t control a gas problem), harks back to "Austin Powers," which wasn’t the origin of that gag to begin with.

"Along Came Polly" is all about "pee-pee" and "doo-doo" (as Sandy calls it), which I left behind years ago. Apparently, however, not everyone did, because the film got a lot of laughs. Maybe that’s why Hollywood keeps cranking this stuff out.  But I say pass.