November 18, 2003
Encouragement for Today
Honor Him How?
“Honor one another above yourselves.” Romans 12:10b (NIV)
About six years ago, the Lord took me on a journey to discover His best for my life. Notice I said “His,” since at that time it was drastically different than my idea of best.
I was living what I thought was a good life. I had three small boys, a loving husband, and a good part-time job. I was active in church, sang in the choir, led children’s ministries and was involved in women’s events. We enjoyed our cozy little house, with my parents and two of my sisters close by.
One day, my husband Tod, came home saying that his company was closing its Phoenix office. They offered him a job in Denver, but we weren’t interested in moving. At least I thought we weren’t interested in moving, so I was completely unprepared for what happened next.
My husband received a call from a friend who had moved to North Carolina and had a job available. Tod wanted to check it out and arranged an interview saying, “I’m not interested, I just want to see what he has to offer.”
Famous last words, because my husband came home from his trip enthusiastic and wanting to move to North Carolina.
Well, it wasn’t a pretty picture and I was not a respectful wife. After some stormy talks, I agreed, but it wasn’t gracious. I knew that if I said “no” we wouldn’t move. But I also knew that I would be stifling a dream my husband had for years: to live somewhere besides Phoenix. So I determined to submit to my husband and we packed up, rented our house and moved.
I had never moved farther than twenty miles from my birthplace and arrived in beautiful Charlotte, North Carolina a sad, pitiful picture of a woman. I thought my husband had stepped so far out of God’s will for me that I was destined to live in darkness.
I had made a commitment to myself not to complain. And I was actually pretty successful. But I sure did mope a lot. And in my heart, I was bitter and resentful. All I thought about was how selfish my husband was. After all, he not only took me away from all my friends, my family, my church, my job, and my house, he took me away from everything at which I was successful. It was all about me, me, and me!!! Yuck, yuck, yuck!!!
A few months into this pity party, the Lord convicted me of my heart attitude towards Tod. You see, even though I had determined to submit on the outside, inside I was a seething mass of bitterness. God showed me through Scripture that honoring and respecting my husband on the inside is far more important than putting on a good show outside.
When I faced God’s request to honor my husband with my heart, I knew I needed to address the issue of selfishness that was the root of my resentment. As I repented and took the focus off my selfish desires, turning it on God’s call to honor my husband above myself, the blessings started pouring in. It was as if God was waiting for my turn of heart to show me how beautiful His plan really is when we honor others (including our husbands) above ourselves.
My Prayer for Today:
Lord, your plan for our marriages is perfect. But I need help to fulfill my part. Help me turn away from selfish desires and put my husband’s needs above my own. Help me love and honor my husband in my heart as well as in my actions. Lord, I trust that in doing so, you will bless my marriage. In Jesus name, Amen.
Identify any bitterness or resentment towards your husband. Ask the Lord for help in dealing with these areas. Confess any sin to the Lord and forgive your husband if he has offended you. Pray for a heart that honors your husband.
Why is it often difficult to honor your spouse above yourself?
Do you have any bitterness or unforgiveness towards your husband that is hidden inside your heart? Allow the Lord to help you identify it and then confess it.
How have you put your needs above your husband’s needs?
What do you think a godly marriage looks like? (Read Ephesians 5:22-33)
Do you need an attitude alignment to the will of God in any area of your marriage? Identify this area.
“Love must be sincere.” Romans 12:9 (NIV)
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” I Corinthians 13: 4-5 (NIV)
“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:22 (NIV)
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2 (NIV)
“It is better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 21:9 (NIV)
Seven Life Principles for Every Womanby Lysa TerKeurst and Sharon Jaynes
Intimate Moments with God by Various Authors Including Sharon Jaynes
How to Live a Life of Victory by Mary Southerland