Good Intentions Gone Wrong
"Jesus said to the people who believed in him, 'You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'” (John 8:31-32 NLT)
Thoughts for Today
Enabling could be called good intentions gone wrong. An enabler is well meaning but often keeps the loved one from facing the truth about their life-controlling problem . . . and they need to face the truth to be set free.
Here are some characteristics of an enabler:
- Unknowingly helps their dependent loved one to continue their downward spiral of addiction
- Continues to help even though their assistance is being abused
- Learns to rescue the friend or loved one from their responsibilities
- Actually prolongs the problem
Consider This . . .
Here are some examples of enabling:
- Covering up the behavior of the friend or loved one
- Making excuses for them
- Minimizing their problem
- Blaming yourself for the problem
- Bailing them out of jail
- Giving them "one more chance" over and over again
Do you see yourself in any of these behaviors? Ask God to show you if your behavior is actually hindering rather than helping your loved one's recovery.
Father, I want so much to help my loved one, but I think I'm hurting rather than helping. Help me remember that unless they see the truth about their behavior, they will never be set free. Help me be willing to allow them to suffer the natural consequences of their mistakes so they will become willing to face the truth. In Jesus' name . . .
These thoughts were drawn from …
Close—But Not Too Close by Dr. Jimmy Ray Lee. A complement to the Concerned Persons small group study, this booklet is written primarily for those who want to help someone close to them who is enslaved by the stronghold of a life-controlling issue. It is also designed to help someone who is suffering the consequences of a loved one's problem.
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