You vs. I
"Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church." Ephesians 4:15 NLT
Thoughts for Today
A commitment to effective communication is vital for a healthy marriage relationship. The Bible tells us to speak the truth in love. Learning how to express ourselves with "I"-messages rather than "you"-messages is a positive approach to communication when settling differences.
You-messages come across as being judgmental. "You don't care." "You are a problem." "Can't you …?" "You are so …" This type of message may cause your spouse to feel put down, rejected or unimportant. And he or she will probably respond defensively.
An I-message tells how you feel rather than pointing an accusing finger at your spouse. "I feel hurt because …" This type of message helps to communicate your feelings without strengthening the defenses of your spouse.
I-messages deal with facts rather than evaluation. They communicate honestly and openness and do not attack your spouse's self-esteem. Using I-messages can help you and your spouse settle differences in a more positive way and open the doors of communication in your marriage.
Father, forgive me for the times I have spoken carelessly or unkindly to my spouse. Help me to be more honest, open … and sensitive. In Jesus' name …
These thoughts were drawn from…
Committed Couples: God's Plan for Marriage & the Family by Dr. Jimmy Ray Lee. Whether in a private or group setting, couples will be encouraged spiritually and romantically as they research biblical principles that affirm their vows. This book can help every married couple grow spiritually and emotionally in their relationship. It is also a great help for engaged-to-be-married couples.
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