James 4:1-2: What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don't get it (NIV).
Have you ever wondered why some criticisms sting so much more than others? Very often, people find themselves reacting strongly when their "identity" is threatened. We all have ways we define ourselves—the good mother, a great cook, the successful businessman. Fights and quarrels often arise when we feel someone is challenging what we believe about ourselves
Our kids are no different. Although they may define their identity differently—the intelligent student, the beautiful girl, the talented athlete—they, too, feel the sting when their identity is threatened. They may respond by questioning whether they are valuable, capable, and worthwhile.
When we become Christians, our identity changes forever as we become identified as children of God. Our value no longer depends on things like athletic skill, beauty, brains, or the opinions of others, because it is rooted in Christ. When we understand His work on the cross and accept His love, we can weather challenges to our identity on earth.
Our true identity is as a perfectly loved and accepted child of the living God!