When he came near the place where the road goes down the Mount of Olives, the whole crowd of disciples began joyfully to praise God in loud voices for all the miracles they had seen. Luke 19:37 (NIV)
The healing service had been advertised for weeks, and I just knew I was going to find Christ there. I needed Him in the worst way. The tumors in my head were growing fast, making my eyes and face bulge and blurring my vision. The pain was so intense that all I could do was retreat for hours on end to a dark room with an ice pack over my eyes.
I'm not very good public relations for You, God, I prayed as I settled into a pew down front. Just think, if You would heal meand I know You canpeople would see how mighty You are and be drawn to You. No one sees You in my pain.
The choir led the crowd in glorious music as a parade of people carrying velvet banners heralding Christ as king marched toward the front of the sanctuary. It reminded me of Jesus' triumphant entry into Jerusalem on that long-ago Palm Sunday, and my heart joined in the celebration. As the expectant crowd raised their hands and voices in praise, I rejoiced in the healing a friend had recently experienced and anticipated the miracle that was sure to take place soon in my own body.
But I wasn't healed, physically speaking, and the inner accusations closed in on me. You've sinned, Robertathat's why your tumors keep growing back. You don't have enough faith. Just look at youyou've even failed at being healed. Angry, I hurled questions at God: Why me, Lord? Why won't You heal me?
But even in the heat of my anger, I had a growing sense of His power and presence. And as I began to trust that God knew exactly what I needed, the answers to my questions no longer seemed so important. It hadn't happened the way I hoped it would when I walked into the service, but I had found Christ there after all.
King of Glory, You have always been there, working Your wondrous miracles in my life.