My last thought: if the problem for the guy has nothing to do with kids or conversation, you might want to revisit your way of entertaining. I used to be a perfectionist, causing undo stress because I wanted things to look a certain way. I’d bring the “perfectionism” problem onto my family and squelch any fun or excitement because I’d be so busy barking orders.

What do the guys want? Simplicity. Good food, great conversation, and relaxation.

Sandy Coughlin is a wife and mother of 3. She loves her family and loves blessing other people's lives by entertaining in her home. Sandy’s husband, Paul, (who used to be the reluctant entertainer) has come on board, and they often offer hospitality together. Sandy and Paul co-authored a book called Married but Not Engaged (Bethany House, Aug. 2006). It's written to women who are married to "checked out" or emotionally absent men and who want to create a more satisfying, intimate relationship. This article was adapted from Sandy’s regularly updated blog “4 Reluctant Entertainers,” which you can visit at  Get more information on Married but Not Engaged by clicking here. Visit Paul's website at: