How to Correct Myths about Men
- Friday, December 27, 2013
Editor's Note: The following is a report on the practical applications of Julie Gorman’s new book What I Wish My Mother Had Told Me about Men (Authentic Publishers, 2013).
Do you wish you could enjoy closer relationships with the men in your life – such as your husband or boyfriend, father, son, brother, or coworkers – but keep stumbling into misunderstandings and mistakes that prevent you from moving closer to them?
If so, you may believe some common myths about men that can distort your relationships with them. Replacing those myths with biblical truths will set you free to experience the kind of relationships that God intends for you to enjoy with men. Here’s how to do so:
Correct the myth that “A man will validate my worth.” No matter how much attention or affection men may give you, it will never be enough to fulfill you. No matter how the men in your life may disappoint you, you can always count on God to love you completely and unconditionally. Don’t base your sense of worth on the unreliable opinions of fallen human beings. Instead, base your worth on the fact that God has made you one of His beloved children. Honestly ask yourself questions such as: “Is my happiness contingent upon a man?” “Do I care more about a man’s opinion of me than I do about God’s?” “Do I allow a man to define my worth, or do I listen to who God says I am?” and “Have I compromised my faith in order to pursue a man?” After you identify lies you’ve believed, ask the Holy Spirit to renew your mind and study verses in the Bible that relate to how God values you. Fully embrace who God says you are, and derive your confidence from that truth.
Correct the myth that “A man will rescue me.” Expecting a man to rescue you from your unmet needs is unrealistic, because no man has the power to do so. Rather than pursuing security and hope through men, pursue it by deepening your relationship with God, who alone has the power to meet your deepest needs. Ask yourself questions like: “Am I content with my life, or am I ruled with a consuming desire for a man to rescue me from my current situations, fears, financial troubles, or emotional needs?” “Is my security determined by God, or is it contingent on my relationships?” and “From where does my hope originate?” Rather than trying to convince or manipulate men to meet your needs, pray about your needs and trust God to meet each one according to what’s really best for you.
Correct the myth that “A man will never let me down.” Realize that men will inevitably disappoint you, because they’re fallen human beings. But if you look to God (who alone is perfect) to meet your needs, you won’t be disappointed. Ask yourself questions such as: “What expectations do I maintain?” “Are my expectations realistic?” and “What happens when men fail to meet my expectations?” Don’t pressure men with unrealistic expectations; give the men in your life forgiveness and grace. Build your life firmly in God’s love so that, when imperfect men let you down, you can find what you need in God’s perfect love for you.
Correct the myth that “Men only want one thing.” Although it may sometimes seem that men are primarily interested in the physical release that sex gives them, the truth is that they also want the intimate spiritual and emotional connection that comes with sex as God designed it. If you’re single, ask yourself if you’re using your sexuality to entice men to for selfish purposes. If you’re married, ask yourself if you’ve reduced sex with your husband to just a duty, or if you’re giving sex your full attention, so that it enhances the union between your soul and your husband’s soul as God intends it to do.
Recently on Women
Have something to say about this article? Leave your comment via Facebook below!
Listen to Your Favorite Pastors
Add Crosswalk.com content to your siteBrowse available content