1. “What was his home life like growing up?” (his upbringing will powerfully affect his behavior in marriage),

2. “Is he a Christian?” (conflicting religious beliefs will terrorize your marriage), and

3. “What has his past performance been like?” (if he has acted a certain way in the past, he’s likely to do the same in the future).

Never make these mistakes:

  • Committing to man based on what he could be instead of how he really is right now,
  • Having sex with a man before marriage,
  • Submitting to anything immoral or illegal with a man,
  • Staying silent about abuse,
  • Nagging your man,
  • Embarrassing your man in public,
  • Stop cheering for your man,
  • Treating sex in marriage casually,
  • Assuming his job is not your business, and
  • Falling more in love with your kids than with your husband.

If you’re already married, pursue a biblical marriage in which you aim to fulfill these responsibilities:

  • Loving your husband,
  • Loving your children,
  • Being sensible without trying to do it all at once,
  • Being kind and nurturing,
  • Caring for your home, and
  • Being respectful and responsive to your husband’s leadership.

Published April 16, 2009.


Adapted from The New Eve: Choosing God’s Best for Your Life, copyright 2008 by Robert Lewis with Jeremy Howard. Published by B&H Books, Nashville, Tn., www.bhpublishinggroup.com.   

Robert Lewis is the best-selling author of Raising a Modern-Day Knight and Rocking the Roles: Building a Win-Win Marriage. He is also executive direc­tor of the Global Reach research/resource organization, founder of the Men’s Fraternity ministry, and pastor-at-large for Fellowship Bible Church in Little Rock, Arkansas. In 2001, he was named Pastor of the Year by the National Coalition of Men’s Ministry. He and his wife, Sherard, have four children.

Jeremy Howard holds a Ph.D. in Christian Apologetics and Worldview Studies from Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Now a writer and editor, he lives with his wife and children in Nashville, Tennessee.