The Goal that Unifies 

The one special key that turned my attitude around was most certainly the grace of my wife. Jennifer is a wise and godly woman who saw my struggles as a homeschool dad and sought for simple, guilt-free, depressurized solutions which would enable me to save face. She truly lightened my burden. I may have been ignorant about a lot of things, but she never let me feel like a failure. Although she (and my children) desperately needed my help at times, I never felt pressure to be Superman. Perfection was not the standard, nor was it the goal. Giving my best—or close to it—was the acceptable, reasonable service. She seemed grateful for any amount of participation I gave, which made me want to give more. She frequently shared her homeschool "discoveries" with me (without any condescension), which piqued my renewing interest. My ideas were always considered and many suggestions were implemented. Jennifer successfully drew me back into the process of homeschooling with her consistent display of grace.

In many ways, homeschooling is nothing more than learning to "bear one another's burdens" and fulfilling the law of God (Galatians 6:2). It is one more path the Almighty uses to unify a man and his wife, enabling them to become one whole person. As they seek to meet each other's needs, their marriage relationship grows stronger. Should either spouse become selfish, the process backfires and two emotionally wounded individuals end up parting ways (figuratively or literally). Remember that God originally designed man to be lonely and in need of gracious help (the Bible calls a wife a "helpmeet" or "suitable helper"). God also designed a wife to need affection, support, and family commitment from her husband. As homeschooling fathers and mothers ingrain these eternal truths into their hearts, they will begin to lift each other's burdens with Christ-like grace. This act of faith will always please God, and He, in turn, will enable them to succeed—for His glory, the harmony of the home, the good of the children, and the testimony of Jesus Christ. And that is what being a homeschool dad is really all about. 

*This article published February 1, 2010.

Timothy Palla is a pastor, freelance writer, horseman, artist, and musician, but his greatest joy is serving the Lord and loving the "wife of his youth," Jennifer. They have five children: Drew, Dane, Aidan, Ethan, and Meghan. Together, Tim and Jenny have been committed to homeschooling since 1993. You may contact Tim at

Originally published in Home School Enrichment Magazine. Now, get a FREE subscription to HSE Digital by visiting Every issue is packed with homeschool encouragement, help, and information. Get immediate access to the current issue when you start your FREE subscription today!