Who Is “That Girl?”
- Monday, February 27, 2012
Yes, the homeschool years may redefine how that romance is lived out, and yes, it will require more effort on your part. But trust me, busy homeschool mom, the blessing you will receive as you pursue your husband will be worth it!
Don’t Scare the Mama
Every home has its quirky little rules. In our house, quirky rule #246 is: Don’t scare the mama. For some reason, I am one of those individuals who does not recover gracefully from a child jumping out at me in the dark. I can think of a thousand scenarios over the past twenty years that have ended up under the “Don’t scare the mama” clause in our marriage. For the sake and sanity of the mama, any practical jokes involving plastic spiders, pretend injuries, or other potentially scary scenarios get left at the door.
That rule really is all about me. In the interest of allowing me to live to see my grandchildren get married, I’ve asked my kids to help me keep my adrenaline at what might be considered normal levels. Sometimes they forget and I wind up the unwitting victim of a practical joke, but for the most part, we have come to an agreement.
My point is that there are some things you need to do just for you. Take care of yourself. Busy homeschool moms who are burned out, stressed out, and tired are not very romantic. If you want to find That Girl again, you might need to take a look at some things about you that need to be addressed.
Only you can determine how much rest you need and how much stress you can take. Only you can decide how many activities you can take on before other people around you start to suffer the consequences of an “over-done” busy homeschool mom. If you feel better about yourself as a person, and more confident in the way you look and feel, That Girl will be easier to track down.
Everything I Needed to Know About Romance I Learned in Third Grade
It started in grade school. I will always remember recess at the little private school that I attended in Portland, Oregon. Like all school children, we had a recess routine. If it wasn’t raining, we played our favorite recess game, “boys chase the girls.” The rules were pretty simple: the girls ran around screaming, the boys captured them and carried them back to the big wooden fort in the middle of the playground. Several boys stood watch over the fort to make sure some sneaky little third-grader didn’t get in and release the captives.
Even at such a young age, the thrill of the chase was on our minds. We loved it. Once the girls were captured, they made “soup” out of water mixed with mud and basically called for help until the recess bell rang. It was third-grade bliss.
This grade school game went on for at least two years, but one incident still stands out to me: At some point, the boys quit. Yep, that’s right. They quit. The girls were horrified. The boys sent a representative to inform us that they had decided they were tired of chasing the girls. They wanted the girls to chase them for a change.
We did, but it wasn’t as much fun for either the boys or the girls. After a day or two, the boys decided they would rather chase the girls, but that occasionally, they would like for us to chase them. I didn’t know it then, of course, but this is exactly how God made us to be. At the end of the day, romance is about pursuit. I like to use the word pursue as a verb when I think of romancing my husband. When I pursue him or when he pursues me, it is love in action. That pursuit says, “I love you!”
Most women yearn to be pursued by their husbands. I believe that this is because God has created us uniquely to be responders. Yet pursuing my husband felt foreign to me, which brings me back to those instinctive feelings I noticed as a grade schooler. The only difference between then and now is that I had forgotten that determined look that flashed across little Johnny’s eyes when the boys had decided that they finally had enough! One-sided relationships are wearisome. When I put my grown-up self back in the playground for just a moment, it made perfect sense. Why wouldn’t I pursue my husband?
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