Do you ever wonder, “If a woman’s place is in the home, why am I always in the car?” Do you find yourself hurrying your children through chores and schoolwork to get to lessons, co-op classes, and sports practices on time? Is there just too much pressure in your life? Help is on the way!

We have a love-hate relationship with those outside-the-home activities called extracurriculars. And they really do serve a good purpose when thoughtfully selected. They can fill in gaps in your curriculum: Many parents use piano lessons as a music class or gymnastics for physical education. Extracurriculars provide opportunities for social interaction. Children (and parents!) can develop leadership skills and learn to serve others while participating in supplementary activities.

But every parent soon learns the challenges of outside-the-home activities. If overdone, activities may divide the family, stealing time and energy. Children may form new loyalties toward peers, teachers, and coaches, challenging the authority and wisdom of their own parents. If an older child is on a sports team, all of the younger ones get dragged to every practice and game, regardless of nap times or unfinished schoolwork; their needs as little ones take a backseat to the coach’s schedule.

It is easy to fall into the trap of signing up your children for every class or club that comes along. They all sound so interesting. And sometimes we’re afraid, deep down, that our children are somehow getting cheated by not being in a “regular” school. So we compensate by saying yes to too many activities.

You don’t have to do this! Your children will do just fine, even if they’re not involved in every activity that catches their fancy. No one can do everything. Children need to learn time management along the way, just as we do. Creativity grows when a child has enough unstructured time to get bored now and then.

In my piano studio, I’m often struck by the impact over scheduling has on children. These children rush in to their lessons, often without all of their music, giving excuses about why they didn’t have time to practice; and then they nearly nod off on the piano bench, they’re so tired. These poor tykes are the victims of over scheduling or, perhaps, of their parents’ need for bragging rights. What a contrast with the children whose parents don’t feel the need to schedule every moment of their children’s lives! Often students with less natural talent play better than those with loads of talent but little time to develop it.

Here are some suggestions for making extracurricular activities work for your family.

     •   The younger the child, the more time he needs at home.

     •   Consider activities that all or most of the family can be a part of, such as church or service activities. You will develop wonderful shared memories over the years, as well as spending less time in the car. Whether your children sing at nursing homes or raise money for missions, they will learn the joy of serving others.

     •   Check out 4-H with your county extension agent. This organization offers hundreds of projects, from electricity and photography to clothing design, public speaking, and training service dogs. The materials are very economical and offer many hands-on activities; some families even use them for science curriculum. Perhaps other homeschoolers in your area would like to form a 4-H club that meets during the school day.

     •   If you decide to participate in team sports, try to find teams that allow several ages together so you aren’t racing from one practice or game to another multiple times per week. You might choose a city league instead of a competitive league; the time commitment difference is huge. Our boys played city-sponsored soccer for six weeks each spring, but didn’t do the summer-long, four-times-a-week baseball with out of town travel to games. With five sons, it would have been insane; summer would have been anything but refreshing.