Fainting For God
- Monday, July 26, 2004
I suddenly felt like I was going to faint. If I didn't take action, there would be a group of women watching me lying on the ground in front of them. An idea suddenly came to me. I asked the women to gather into small groups and pray for their children and for each other. I knew this was the right course of action, but kept talking to them. Again I requested they turn their chairs. And again, I tried to take over and regain my talk. Finally I knew that I had to get out of the way so God could minister to them in prayer.
Twenty minutes of prayer passed. The entire time I felt like such a failure. I knew that as soon as I could escape the room, I would have to find a place to go so I could cry at my own failing.
I left the room and hid in a corner. I was unable to allow the tears to flow, but was crying inside. In my head I saw my award, "Favorite Home School Speaker of the Year" that The Old Schoolhouse Magazine had bestowed upon me. I knew the last thing I deserved at that moment was the award.
I wanted to apologize to the board that had asked me to come speak. I ventured over to their table. One of the board members said to me, "So how was your last talk?" I rolled my eyes and said, "Oh...it was so bad."
She said to me, "That's strange to hear, I just had someone come up and tell me it was the best workshop she had ever attended."
I couldn't believe it! God had answered my prayer by taking me out of the picture so that He could take over.
The whole thing reminds me of Exodus 33:12-14.
"Then Moses said to the LORD, "See, You say to me, 'Bring up this people. But you have not let me know whom You will send with me. Yet You have said, 'I know you by name, and you have also found grace in My sight.' "Now therefore, I pray, if I have found grace in Your sight, show me now Your way, that I may know You and that I may find grace in Your sight. And consider that this nation is Your people. And He said, "My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest."
Often I see a failing of mine, and am unable to see what God is doing in it. I praise God that he allowed me a glimpse into what he can do when I get myself out of the way. Hopefully the next time, I will be able to rest knowing that His Presence goes with me.
In addition to devoting herself to her husband and the eight children she home schools, Terri also enjoys writing and speaking to offer encouragement to women in an effervescent, humorous way. Visit her Web site at www.ignitethefire.com or e-mail her at firstname.lastname@example.org.
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