Remember Who Your Enemy Is (Hint: It Isn't Your Husband)

Always keep in mind who is ultimately seeking the destruction of your home, family, and testimony. Sure, you and your husband play a supportive role, but I am convinced that one of Satan's best tactics is to deceive us into believing our spouse is the enemy. This is a spiritual battle, so you must recognize that, put your armor on, and fight!

I love Nehemiah 4 and how it can relate to our spiritual battle in the area of marriage.  Nehemiah 4:9 says that Israel posted a guard day and night. They prayed, were wise, and watched, knowing that the enemy would attack.  But verse 10  says, "There is much rubbish . . . we are not able to build the wall."

Two thoughts come to mind here. One is that sometimes the Lord has to destroy a house in order to build it on the right foundation. The second is that it is very easy to be overwhelmed at the sight of the rubble. It can be so disheartening and debilitating to look at the destruction of a marriage. It is easy to become totally overwhelmed with the rebuilding task and its enormity, so much so that you want to give up.

But Nehemiah 4:14 says, "Remember the Lord, which is great and terrible, and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses." In fact, the people of Israel did their work with one hand and held a weapon in the other. Don't ever drop your weapon, which is the Word of God, the Sword of the Spirit! And keep watch; don't fall asleep on the job—you will be attacked at the exposed and vulnerable places.

Humbly Seek the Lord

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and He cares deeply for the husbandless and fatherless (Psalm 68:5). There is no doubt in my mind. He is also close to those who are humble and teachable. In fact, I believe a humble person is irresistible to God. I tried to often ask the Lord, "What are the things you want me to know and change about myself?" Like any human being, I found it very easy to see where my spouse had gone wrong, but I tried as best I could to look at this as a time for personal refining. The Lord asked me to do some radical things and love more unconditionally than ever before.

I also came to realize that if I wanted the Lord to work on my behalf, this was the time to step up my obedience to Him in all areas of my life. Psalm 81:13-14 says, "Oh that my people had hearkened unto me, and Israel had walked in my ways! I should soon have subdued their enemies, and turned my hand against their adversaries." Did you hear that? Do you see the condition God lays out? If you listen to Him and follow His ways, He will fight for you and subdue your enemies!

I am convinced that obedience is one of the main keys to victory in any battle. The Lord Himself will do battle for you, go before you, and be your rearguard. Who can stand against the Holy One of Israel? No one! Is anything too difficult for Him? Nothing is too hard for Him!

Many times the Lord told me to "wait" or "be quiet." I can't tell you how hard that was for me. But He wanted to prepare the way and do the fighting for me, and He didn't need me messing with His plan!

Keep a Journal

I have been diligent in writing my own thoughts down as well as specific words and dreams God has directly given me. This has allowed me to better process all that has happened. Often He has woken me up in the middle of the night or at dawn with something and told me to write it down. Journaling has been a real benefit to me, as some of what He has told me has been prophetic. Going back and reading what God was saying to me in the past has been a real faith-builder!

God has been so loving and faithful to me. He has not abandoned me, and I am so thankful to Him. This past year has been an incredible season of hearing from the Lord. I wouldn't want to miss one word, one lesson that He has given me. Perhaps I have been more sensitive to the Lord's voice, as I have sought Him more than ever during this season out of intense need. He has almost been tangible to me.