What safer environment is there for our kids to develop healthy relationships and friendships than in our homes?  Remember, when children marry, they marry more than the person with whom they are exchanging vows.  They are marrying into a family, good or bad.  Doesn’t it make sense to help that person making the most important decision in his or her life to have all the possible information that he or she can have?  Isn’t it fair for him or her to interact with the rest of the future family so that there is a way to know the whole story of how they live, act, and react?  Of course it is.  It’s the most loving thing to do, for everyone involved, especially for one who doesn’t know us.  Give that person the opportunity.  And prepare to share love and acceptance.


Finally, we think it is important to remember that the Lord is in charge of life.  We think it is very dangerous to create dogmatic principles related to when relationships should or should not take place unless there is an explicit Biblical absolute governing it.  That is one of the problems we have with some of the “courting” and “dating” theories being thrown around. 


Life is dynamic.  Our culture is changing constantly.  Practices that were effective during Victorian times are totally irrelevant today.  Anyone who knows us knows that we clearly believe that for the Christian the Bible is the absolute guide of faith and practice.  But we must make sure to contextualize the Bible to our current culture, and not attempt to return to times and places that are not consistent with reality.  We need to ask God for His leading, guidance and wisdom to discern what is best for our children and us today in this important area of life.  At the risk of being redundant, He promises wisdom.  “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.”  This is our hope!  In this we can have confidence that He will answer.


For us, as stated before, this is a work in progress.  We have shared it with our readers to illustrate some principles and practices that may be of use to others.  One of the blessings of the information age is that we can throw ideas out to encourage dialogue and reflection.  With confidence that the Word of God is true, and that His Spirit leads us, we can work through issues together to help teach and prepare our children for life. 


If at the end of the day our son is able to learn from the Lord a lesson in life, where we can protect both him and this young lady friend, Christiana, from unnecessary heartbreak, we will consider it a Biblical success.  Our goal is that they are able to determine, at the right time and place, if they are intended to spend the rest of their lives together or not, without unnecessary emotional pressure, and the preventable damage that can so easily result because of the sexually volatile times that we live in. 


In our next article, we will address other ways that Dads can be involved in moral training in the home.  To learn more about teaching many aspects of home schooling to your secondary students, consider our book, The Guidance Manual for the Christian Home School:  A Parent’s Guide for Preparing Home School Students for College or Career, as well as our Web site, www.davidandlaurie.com.