Too often we are tentative in our communication with others. We think they can read our minds, when that is not the case. For all we know, he is doing the same awkward dance, wondering how to approach you.

There is another danger. If we live in our fantasies, we live in a distorted world. We can either build things up inappropriately, or distort the situation in a negative direction. While you have this man built up to be "all that, and more," you may be disappointed when you learn more about him. He may also be all that and a bag of Snickers too. Take a chance and strike up a conversation with him, and let us know how it turns out.

Dear Dr. David:

I am an older woman who has suffered from chronic depression. Depression runs in my family and we take medications for it, which helps. Often my pastor will say that medication is dangerous and we should be depending on God, not pills. I agree with him, but if I stop taking them I will be right back to being depressed all the time. What should I do as a Christian? ~ Confused

Dear Confused:

There are, sadly, many Christians who are confused on this matter. We are certainly counseled to "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6: 33) However, I see nothing in scripture that indicates we should not use other methods of professional assistance, used wisely.

There are many studies that clearly indicate there are biochemical elements to depression, and antidepressants are effective in restoring proper brain chemistry. Those that have biochemical aspects to their depression are well-advised to consult their physician who is authorized to prescribe such medications. Studies strongly indicate that a combination of antidepressants and counseling is effective in alleviating much depression.

Does this mean we should not also seek God’s help with our problems? Absolutely not. The Psalmist, David, relied heavily on the Lord during his many difficulties. Medications should not be our only means of alleviating physiological and emotional distress. We must also be responsible in exploring solutions found in a proper diet, exercise, a healthy sleep regimen, support groups and counseling, as well as feeding on the Word of God as a source of nutrition for our souls.  

Do you need sound, Biblically-based advice on an issue in your marriage or family?  Dr. David will address two questions from Crosswalk readers in his weekly column. Submit your question to him at TheRelationshipDoctor@gmail.com


David Hawkins, Pd.D., has worked with couples and families to improve the quality of their lives by resolving personal issues for the last 30 years. He is the author of over 18 books, including   Love Lost: Living Beyond a Broken Marriage,  Saying It So He'll Listen, and  When Pleasing Others Is Hurting You. His newest book is titled When the Man in Your Life Can’t Commit.  Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities.