It is a good thing I began to do so, for Bob was fighting for his soul and losing ground. Taking his eyes off God for even a brief time caused him to question the truths in which he had been so firmly rooted. I wasn’t capable of fixing him—not that he wanted my kind of "help." Finger pointing and hand wringing, I have learned, are not the most effective agents for change. Prayer is. When I began to pray, and traded fear for faith, I drew solace and strength from Romans 8:28, which says, "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose."

For further insight and instruction into becoming a more effective praying wife, read Stormie Omartian’s The Power of a Praying Wife (Eugene, Ore.Harvest House, 1997)

Through this time, I learned to love Bob enough to listen when he asks me to pray for him as well as when he doesn’t ask. Sometimes when our husbands experience times of spiritual battle, they may not even recognize that they are in a battle. At such times, we need to listen closely to their silence and pray. (Listening may mean less sleep on a night when you are already bleary eyed.) While we may expect to hear a clear and unmistakable cry for help, they may be too spiritually battered and bruised to manage anything more than a whimper.

Running to the Lord

I find great solace in knowing that even though my flesh and heart will sometimes fail Bob in times of trouble, God’s perfect strength and heart will not. Now when I beseech the Lord on behalf of my beloved, I no longer crawl to Him with hand outstretched holding an empty cup. I run to Him with a bucket!

Anne, a beautiful Bible study leader, provides a wonderful example of "running to God with a bucket." If ever there is a husband blanketed in prayer, it is her husband, Steve. Anne suggested that we women take a favorite psalm—I use Psalm 1—and substitute the applicable names or pronouns with the words, "His favored son, [name]." For example:

"How blessed is His favored son, Bob, who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of scoffers! But Bob’s delight is in the law of the LORD, and in His law Bob meditates day and night. His favored son, Bob, will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither; and in whatever God’s favored son, Bob, does, he prospers."

Will you accept the honor of praying for your husband, the Father’s favored son? Will you listen to his battle cries—the whimpering, whispering pleas of your spiritually wounded husband?

You can give your husband no more precious gift than the gift of praying for him. Won’t you join me in running to the Lord in prayer?


Prayer is the most powerful love language in the world. There is no more precious gift you can give your husband.

Read Part I in this series: Becoming a Godly Wife: Master the Monster of Jealousy

What is a "good Christian wife?" Click here to post your response.

Judy Carden lives in Winter Haven, Florida, with her husband, Bob. They have three children who are in various stages of undergraduate and graduate studies. Judy is delighted to be a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend. As the president and founder of Inspiration Etc., her mission is to encourage lives of purpose, passion, and excellence. "Crash" (as she is known on the slopes) and her husband are avid snow skiers, and also share a love for many other activities. As a writer and speaker, Judy continues to share her secrets for transforming the mundane marriage into a magical, vibrant image of God's plan for the contemporary covenant marriage.

Taken from What Husbands Need: Reaching His Heart and Reclaiming His Passion © 2006 by Judy Carden. Published by Kregel Publications, Grand Rapids, MI. Used by permission of the publisher. All rights reserved.