At this point, a few cautions are in order.  The “faithful wounds of a friend” are normally the words we share with our mates.  So the following notes must temper them or marital friendships will disintegrate into marital disputes.

An anxious heart weighs a person down, but a kind word cheers him up (Prov. 12:25).
A wise person’s heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote persuasiveness.  Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones (Prov. 16:23-24).

The heart of the righteous ponders how to answer, but the mouth of the wicked pours out evil things (Prov. 15:28).

Not only must our words be tempered, but also the timing of our words.

A person finds joy in a fitting answer, and how delightful is a timely word (Prov. 15:23).

Like apples of gold in settings of silver is a word spoken in right circumstances (Prov. 25: 11).

The one who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him (Prov. 27:14).

Added to all of this, there are also some sour notes that seek to rush in and destroy the sweet song of marital friendship:

A perverse person stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates intimate friends (Prov. 16:28).

The one who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates intimate friends (Prov. 17:9).

So if you want to become best friends in your marriage, try adding the following sweet notes to God’s lyrics:

  • First and foremost, embrace Jesus Christ who is our ultimate Sticky Friend--love and obey Him as one of His disciples.  Ask Him to make you best friends with your mate.

  • Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.  You are My friends if you do what I command you.  No longer do I call you slaves.  For the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you (John 15:13-15).

  • Go back and replay your falling-in-love days, when you and your mate first became best friends.  Schedule a date.  Talk to each other.  Listen to each other.  Play, laugh, and dream again.  Read the Bible and pray together.

  • Always ask God to give you the right wording and timing when you need to “speak the truth in love” with your mate.  “Wounding” is always remedial, never punitive.

  • Link up with another couple who are also trying to develop into “sticky friends.”  Spend time together.  Share ideas.  Encourage each other.  Read the Bible and pray together.

© 2003 Christian Family Life

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