Their prayer began to soften my heart and I wondered if there was any way out of the chaos I had created. I went into the living room, sank into the sofa, held a pillow to my chest, and called out -- to God. I had been avoiding Him for months. My guilt, shame, and sin had built a wall between us. But, brick-by-brick-as I confessed each sin -- I tore down the wall -- and let the Light in. I prayed, "Lord, please show me your will for my life." Then, I remembered the simple words that Jesus said to the adulteress woman. "Go and sin no more." I knew exactly what I had to do. I surrendered my will and my heart to the Lord. I asked for the strength to walk away from Jake and make a full confession to Ron.

When I told my husband the whole truth and begged for his forgiveness he miraculously chose to forgive me.

We both called Jake. I cried as I apologized to him and explained why I had to quit my job and why I could never see him again. Ron and I asked him not to call or have any further contact and he agreed to honor our request. I told him that I hoped he would reconcile with his wife and restore his family. When we said goodbye, all three of us were crying, for three different reasons.

My feelings for Jake had not changed, I was still "in love" with him, but I chose to stay with my husband. It was out of obedience at first, but as I began to act lovingly, the loving feelings eventually followed. Ron and I recently celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary and I am thrilled to tell you that we are deeply and tenderly in love -- with each other! We are living proof that no marriage is beyond repair.

Originally posted January 12, 2005.

Adapted from Avoiding The Greener Grass Syndrome: How to Grow Affair Proof Hedges Around Your Marriage. (Kregel Publications 12/04)

Ron and Nancy C. Anderson love to teach other couples how to protect their marriages through a seminar called "Hedges Around Our Hearts." For more information about Nancy's book or the Anderson's speaking ministry visit