Confronting Codependency in Your Marriage
- Monday, August 18, 2008
Galatians 6:1-5 talks about carrying each other’s burdens in the context of sharing the sorrow of sin. If I don’t empathize with others I may think I am better than them. When one member of the body is in pain, we all suffer. However, at the end of the section it clearly states, “each one should carry his own load.” This means the consequences of another person’s actions belong to them. They affect me and may make me sad. They may even force me to draw a line or create a negative consequence. But knowing that I am responsible to God for only my load removed many backbreaking—and heartbreaking—lies for me.
Going deeper revealed that my codependency was driven by a low self-worth. I felt at the core, I was less than. Allowing God to reach down and personally show me His love changed everything. As I shared in last month’s article, “Looking For The Wrong Addiction,” finding out about my husband’s sex addiction crumbled the shaky foundation I built on him. Once I tumbled down to the solid ground, I found Christ’s arms waiting.
Christ showed me that I had value because His Father created me perfectly and He paid for every sin that could ever diminish God’s work. I wasn’t less than anyone. I also wasn’t more than either. God leveled the playing field that was in my mind. He created and loves each of His children perfectly. These aren’t just words for Sunday, they are truth for every day; and when they sank into my heart, they made a real and palpable difference. Every label was wiped away that once said: “Less Than,” “Sinner,” and “Codependent.”
I no longer bristle when I hear the labels. I’ve gotten over it! Now I listen to see if God has yet another lesson for me to learn. There are still blind spots, so I’ll continue to work on any codependent residue, staying in the light of truth where the ground is solid and the load is light.
Crosswalk.com welcome's Meg Wilson as the newest contributor to our Marriage channel. Watch for Meg’s article next month as she shares more about healing from codependency.
Meg is a regular speaker to women’s groups, Bible studies, and conferences. Five years ago she founded the Healing Hearts Ministry to offer help and hope to women whose husbands are caught in the web of sexual addiction. Her book Hope After Betrayel: Healing When Sexual Addiction Invades Your Marriage (Kregel Publishers) was released last year. You can visit her website at www.hopeafterbetrayal.com
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