What Would He/She Say About This Person?  Trying to evaluate a new dating partner or spouse through the eyes of your deceased spouse is ultimately an issue of permission.  Some widows don’t feel they can fully embrace a new relationship without the “permission” of a former spouse.  This ghost says, “I know he/she told you before they died that they’re okay with you getting remarried, but you don’t know if they would approve of this specific person.  You just can’t be sure.”  Of course, that is true.  You can’t be sure.  But then, that’s not the point.  If your former mate approved of you and found you to be competent, their trust in any future mate for you would be based on their belief in you, not the person.  You have their approval. 

So what’s your ghost saying to you?  Sharing the whispers of your ghost can help others who are struggling with the same voice in their heart.  Send us an email.  If we post your thoughts, you will remain anonymous.  Click here to submit your whispers. 

Ron L. Deal is president of Smart Stepfamilies™, director of blended family ministries for FamilyLife®, a popular conference speaker on marriage and family matters, and author/coauthor of a series of DVD’s and books for stepfamilies including The Smart Stepfamily, The Remarriage Checkup (with David H. Olson), The Smart Stepmom (with Laura Petherbridge), The Smart Stepdad, and his latest Dating and the Single Parent. Learn more at www.smartstepfamilies.com.

Publication date: August 24, 2012