The young man mentioned at the beginning of this article found that there were several dimensions in both the “ought to” and “have to” areas that had great value to him. He saw, for example, that because of his “partner-specific” obligation to his children, it would be worth saving the marriage so that his children would live with both Mom and Dad.

If you are contemplating ending a committed relationship such as a marriage, it could be very important for your future to consider all the reasons to make this relationship work. From Michael Johnson’s work, I developed a survey that you may use to investigate what areas are important to you in either the “want to,” “ought to,” or “have to.” Before walking away, be willing honestly to evaluate all those.

Joe Beam conducts a very successful marriage seminar to turn around troubled marriages. Click here for information on how you can save your marriage. To get a free copy of this evaluation, and, if you wish, an analysis of what your scores mean to you, contact It may change your future for good.