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Dr. David Christian Marriage Advice

The Power of Thanks Giving

  • Dr. David B. Hawkins The Marriage Recovery Center
  • 2012 11 Nov
  • COMMENTS
The Power of Thanks Giving

Thanksgiving, and the few days following, is one of my favorite holidays. Not overly commercialized, (Black Friday not withstanding!) softly observed, many take at least a few moments to consider their blessings.

Even amidst our struggles—and we all have them—most of us can find something for which to be thankful. Even as we bemoan the things not going right in our lives, still blessings sneak into the cracks and crevices of our lives. 

Just this morning my wife, Christie thanked me twice for helping her with chores as we prepared to head out to relatives to celebrate the holiday. Her thanking me was not a surprise, as this is her custom. She is thank-full. Offering thanks for something I should have been doing anyway is typical of her. Always ready to show appreciation for large and small things. 

As I celebrate and pause to give thanks for my many blessings, I want to ask if you are a thank-full person. Do you take a few extra moments to thank your mate for a kind gesture? Do you send notes (or emails) to those who have brought something special into your life? Or, do you take for granted all the blessings that are given to you? 

While Thanksgiving is a day of celebration, thanks giving is an attitude that can be cultivated. Should you choose to cultivate this attitude, you will reap many rewards. Consider some of these possibilities: 

First, thanks giving blesses those whom you thank. I never tire of hearing my wife thank me for small and large gestures of helpfulness. I want to do more for her. I desire to please her. When she gives me thanks, I want to give more back to her. I then notice and thank her for the kindnesses she does for me. 

Second, thanks giving blesses the one being thankful. The one noticing and noting the generosity of others becomes filled with thankfulness. It has been said that what we focus on becomes larger in our lives. Being thankful then, increases those blessings. We become filled up with thankfulness. Bitterness and criticism are not comfortable neighbors to kindness and thankfulness. 

Third, thanks giving is a response of obedience to God. We are told, encouraged, to be thankful in everything (1 Thessalonians 5:13). This is God’s will for us, and encouraged because of the attitude it cultivates within us. God knew that an attitude of thankfulness was not only good medicine for us, but powerful medicine for others. 

Finally, thanks giving changes persons, families, entire communities and even the world. Consider what might happen if we focused on what is good in our relationships, families and even communities? What if we noticed every generosity and kindness done for us and made a point of being thankful? The impact would be amazing. 

So, for just a few moments during this holiday weekend—and every day—practice thanks giving. Thank the checkout clerk at the grocery store, your colleague in the cubicle next to you, your friends, family and of course, your mate. Thank a friend who needs a word of encouragement. Just do it and let me know what happens.   

Share your feedback or send a confidential note to me at TheRelationshipDoctor@Gmail.com and read more about The Marriage Recovery Center on my website www.MarriageRecoveryCenter.com and YourRelationshipDoctor.com. You’ll find videos and podcasts on saving a troubled marriage, codependency and affair-proofing your marriage. Please feel free to call for a free, twenty-minute consultation.

Publication date: November 26, 2012