Then there’s the issue of putting off thinking about our appearance until we hit some mystical, magical goal.

  • When I lose weight
  • When the kids are in school 
  • When I go back to work
  • When I get a better job

The problem is this: If you feel undeserving at 170 pounds, there is nothing magical about getting to 150 that’s going to suddenly make you feel worthy of taking care of yourself. There is always someone thinner, taller, prettier, and who looks better in those jeans. There are millions of other women who, when you compare yourself to them, will leave you wanting.

The other side of this is that you’re the only one of those millions of women who your husband is married to. He wants (and may I be so bold as to say deserves) the best version of you, right now, that’s available.

I’m not saying don’t lose the weight or give up on your exercise program. I’ve struggled with these areas all of my life, and they most likely will keep me on my knees in prayer until the day I die. What I am saying is that there’s no reason to postpone being the best you can be, right now.

If money is an issue when it comes to clothes, you’re better off having three outfits that you know your husband loves you in, and you feel great wearing, than a couple of closets filled with things that are comfortable but make you look tired and dowdy.

Pay attention to what your husband responds to. Does he give you extra attention when you’re wearing a dress? Maybe it’s time to commit to wearing skirts once a week. My husband gave me the most amazing turquoise pendant necklace for Christmas. I now have three shirt, jacket, and jean combos that look great with that necklace. And when I get a compliment, I get to say (loud enough for Roger to hear me), “I know, I love this necklace too. My husband picked it out. Doesn’t he have great taste?”

Prayer for Today

Dear God, I pray my husband knows he’s special to me in every way—that he is worth the extra effort.

Getting Creative

  • Is your husband a sports fan? Maybe the sexiest thing you could wear is a T-shirt with his team’s logo on it.
  • The next time you’re shopping, think about your husband’s favorite color. Chances are it’s blue—lucky us! Everyone looks great in some shade of blue. Make sure to mention that you bought it with him in mind.

Project Reports

“I bought a new shirt a few weeks ago. Every time I wear it he says, ‘I like that shirt,’ or ‘That shirts looks nice.’ So I wore that shirt today, and occasionally throughout the day I remembered his comments and felt more confident. He did not say anything this time, but he has said it enough before that I know how he feels.”—Linda

“Today I will wear a pair of gold earrings my husband gave me. The card that he wrote when he gave them to me read ‘I love you more each day.’ So I call them my ‘I love you more each day earrings.’ (I’m not real creative!) He is impressed that I remember what he had written on the card.”—Denise

Published February 25, 2009

Adapted from The Husband Project (Harvest House, 2008). Copyright 2008 by Kathi Lipp. Used with permission. All rights reserved.

Kathi Lipp is a busy conference and retreat speaker, currently speaking more than 45 times each year to thousands of women. Kathi and her husband, Roger, are the parents of four teenagers and live in California.