Work with your gender differences.  Accept the differences between men and women as God's design.  Ask God to give you the wisdom to know how best to use the differences between you and your spouse to complement each other and build a stronger marriage as a result.

Seek God together through adventures in church.  Participate in a local church with your spouse, growing closer to Christ together through various adventures there, worshipping, studying, serving, and growing into people who can love God and each other more deeply.

Adapted from Great Parents, Lousy Lovers: Discover How to Enjoy Life with Your Spouse While Raising Your Kids, copyright 2010 by Dr. Gary Smalley and Ted Cunningham. Published by Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Ill.,

Gary Smalley is the author and coauthor of 16 best-selling, award-winning books along with several popular films and videos. He has spent more than 30 years learning, teaching, and counseling. In the last 30 years, Gary has spoken to more than 2 million people in live conferences. He has been presenting his live two-day workshop, "Love Is a Decision," once a month for the last 20 years. Television audiences all over the world have viewed his award-winning infomercial, "Hidden Keys to Loving Relationships." This videotape series has sold more than 4 million tapes. Gary and his wife, Norma, have been married for 40 years and live in Branson, Missouri. They have three children, Kari, Greg, and Michael, and six grandchildren.

Ted Cunningham, a pastor and speaker, has coauthored three books with Dr. Gary Smalley: The Language of Sex; From Anger to Intimacy; and As Long as We Both Shall Live. After graduating from Liberty University and Dallas Theological Seminary, he founded and continues to pastor Woodland Hills Family Church in Branson, Missouri. Ted and his wife, Amy, have been married for 14 years. They both love taking road trips and spending time at Table Rock Lake with their two children, Corynn and Carson.