Talk through all issues of spirituality now. Include traditions, biblical interpretations, biblical translations, church attendance habits, prayer habits, Bible study habits, and any other issue important to you.

We knew one couple wherein the husband would not allow the wife to talk about God or put Scripture verses in any visible place in their home. We asked if they’d discussed spiritual matters ahead of time, and the wife shrugged.

“I told him I couldn’t marry him unless he believed in the Lord like I did.” She glanced at her husband. “And I told her I believed.”
We looked at him, confusion clearly written across our faces. “But you don’t believe in God, isn’t that right?”
The man nodded. “Yes.”
We were beginning to wonder if we’d stumbled onto the set of a Candid Camera shoot. “Okay, then why’d you tell her you believed back when you were dating.” The man frowned. “That was the only way she’d marry me.”

Whatever you do, don’t lie to your fiancé this way. Issues can be talked through, differences can be examined. But a lie can only cause irreparable harm.

Once you think alike when it comes to matters of God, realize that this will be the holy cement that will truly bind you together during this cleaving period. The following is a list of things that will help you cleave spiritually:

  • Prayer for each other.
  • Prayer together.
  • Church attendance together.
  • Serving in some type of church or mission service together.
  • Bible reading together.
  • Scripture memorization together.

We know one couple who memorized Scriptures together and then played a game whenever they were in the car. One at a time they would recite a verse until one of them was stumped. They spent hours this way, laughing, memorizing God’s word, and having fun at the same time.

This is a perfect example of spiritual cleaving.