In our newest book, Becoming a Family that Heals, published by Focus on the Family and Tyndale (September 2009), my husband, Tom, and I write about our painful pasts and how the Lord healed us and helped us have successful careers as therapists and be healthy parents to our two grown daughters. There are six healing premises in the book. Here are two that can really speak to Jon and Kate’s situation:

1. Whether you believe it or not, your childhood does affect your adult relationships.

2. To the degree you have been wounded, you can wound or be wounded by those closest to you.

I watched as Kate bossed Jon and Jon bossed the kids. This generational pattern does not have to continue. My message to the Gosselins is this: God can heal the wounds of your past and the wounds of the present in your marriage. He can be a mother and father to both of you if you will only let Him. Jon and Kate, it is not too late, and I know of at least eight wonderful reasons why!

Published June 23, 2009.


Drs. Tom and Beverly Rodgers have been Christian counselors for over 30 years. They practice at Rodgers Christian Counseling and the Institute for Soul Healing Love in Charlotte, North Carolina. Dr. Tom also has a master’s degree in human development, and Dr. Bev has a master’s degree in marital and family therapy. Together they have written three books: Soul-Healing Love, Adult Children of Divorced Parents, and The Singlehood Phenomenon. They have appeared on NBC, NPR, and the BBC. Together they facilitate relationship workshops for couples and singles across the globe. They have been married for over 30 years and have two grown daughters.