Love Your Husband Even When He Drives You Crazy
- Thursday, December 06, 2007
Move beyond a stalled relationship. If you’re not seeing the growth you hope to see in your relationship, don’t nag your husband about it. Instead, ask God to show you the ways in which you need to change yourself, and focus on your own personal growth. Know that, while you can’t change your husband, you can change the dynamic of your marriage if you change yourself. Pray for forgiveness for any contempt you have for your husband. Rather than lecturing your husband about concerns you have about him, pray for the wisdom to know what to say, and when and how to say it best.
Redefine romance. Recognize that true romance isn’t about fancy dinners or chocolate, beautiful jewelry or flowers, or a glamorous trip to a secluded island – it’s all about unconditional love in a covenant commitment. Seek to create a love story between you and your husband that only the two of you know – one that builds intimacy through both good and bad times, and keeps getting more and more exciting because you keep learning more and more about each other, no matter how long you’ve been married. If your husband is steady, reliable, honest, and true, be grateful for him, realizing that such qualities are much more romantic than a man who gives you glamorous gifts but can’t be counted on to be there for you no matter what. Keep up a love affair with your husband for the rest of your lives together, expressing your affection in fresh ways every day.
Be willing to yield. Instead of just plowing ahead with your own agenda when you and your husband face decisions, choose to consider your husband’s needs before your own. Realize that by being unselfish and loving, you’ll help create a marriage that will bless you as well. Understand that it’s not your husband asking you to yield in your marriage; it’s God. Decide to honor God by pursuing His design of mutual submission in marriage. Trust that God knows what’s best for both you and your husband. Seek and follow His will.
Express your attraction. Don’t take your husband for granted. Realize that if you don’t show and tell him how much you appreciate him, someone else likely will, and your marriage will become vulnerable to an affair. No matter how busy you are, don’t forget to let your husband know each day that you’re attracted to him. Thank God for the gift of your husband, despite his flaws. Think about the qualities that first attracted you to your husband, and appreciate them today. Let your husband know that he’s much more than just a roommate to you; show him that you think he’s hot.
Pursue a healthy sexual relationship. Understand that a lack of sex creates a serious imbalance in your husband’s psyche and damages your marriage. Realize that sex with you is the only healthy way your husband can fulfill his sexual desires, and that God intends for both of you to enjoy a fulfilling sex life together. Don’t let any distractions or tensions rob your marriage of that. Pursue sex with your husband so you’ll both feel loved, connected, and treasured.
Make enough space in your life for your husband. Take inventory of how you’re spending your limited time and energy, and consider how much is truly left for your husband after you invest in your kids, career, volunteer work, friends, etc. Make the changes necessary to put your husband second in your life – above everyone and everything else except God. View your marriage relationship as a lifelong career to pursue with dedication.
Set boundaries. Protect your marriage from affairs by setting appropriate boundaries. Whenever you interact with other men (especially those you find attractive), be sure to avoid flirting with them, dressing immodestly, or engaging in any other behavior that may lead them to believe you’re open to an affair.
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