Fifth, a sense of unity and accountability must be endorsed and encouraged within your church. Your pastoral staff must emphasize the importance of belonging to the Body of Christ. Cultivate a sense that we are not only connected in some way to others but are responsible for others' well-beings.

Finally, offer help for those in relational trouble. Every member of your body must know exactly where they can turn when in trouble. That help must be easily accessible, expert and helpful. Every individual/ couple must know they have a safety net that will catch them in times of trouble. That help can take the form of a prayer team that encircles them with love, supportive friends, connections with expert counseling to assist them, and spiritual advisors who will uphold them with Biblical principles.  

As I said last month, I dream of a world where no marriage can slip away, becoming another tragic statistic. I envision a world where every couple feels connected, cared about and within a phone call of immediate and appropriate help. Perhaps that help simply takes the form of encouragement; perhaps it takes the form of a group of prayer warriors gathering for support or simply a team of trained persons ready to come alongside us. Together we can create connection.

I invite you to interact with me about the concept of No Marriage Left Behind. Please feel free to email me at or see information about my ministry and The Marriage Recovery Center on my website,

November 24, 2010

Dr. David Hawkins is the director of the Marriage Recover Center where he counsels couples in distress. He is the author of over 30 books, including Dealing With the CrazyMakers in Your Life, 90 Days to a Fantastic Marriage, and Saying It So He'll Listen. Dr. Hawkins grew up in the beautiful Pacific Northwest and lives with his wife on the South Puget Sound where he enjoys sailing, biking, and skiing. He has active practices in two Washington cities.