Want to Draw Your Husband Closer? Here's How
- Monday, March 11, 2013
Do you have times when you feel as if you walk alone in your marriage? Are there things you don’t understand about your man that drives a wedge between the two of you?
Well, you don’t have to feel alone in your marriage anymore. You can be a woman who inspires your husband -- a wife who draws his heart closer to yours in ways you've never imagined.
For years, I asked God to change my husband. I wanted him to be everything that I wanted and needed in a man. But I realized that God wanted to change me. So, after asking God to change my heart, I asked my husband of 23 years, “How can I be a woman who inspires you, who draws you closer, who makes you all you can be?"
I learned from my husband -- and many other men that I interviewed for my book, When a Woman Inspires Her Husband, -- that a man wants to be treated like a king, respected as a man, admired like a hero, and inspired to be all he can be. And when that happens, his wife reaps the benefits!
Now, you might be thinking: Cindi, you don’t know my husband. How can you say if I start pleasing him and serving him, I'll eventually be happier? And isn’t that a little one-sided? My answer: God is one-sided when it comes to marriage. He always wants to change the person asking for change. He starts with the one who is willing. Therefore, the starting point for real change in your marriage - real change in your husband - is you. Gary Thomas, author of Sacred Marriage and Sacred Influence, says, “You can’t make your husband serve you or care for you – but you can focus on helping him, and more times than not, that action alone will prompt him to serve and to care. Even if it doesn’t, it will…unleash a great spiritual adventure in your own life."\
Become His Cheerleader
Your husband lives in a world where it's important for him to know that he's winning. So what's the best thing you can do for him? Become his cheerleader. A friend of mine told me that when a man hits midlife he needs his wife to be more like a girlfriend, than a mother. I think, no matter how old a man is, he wants a cheerleader in his life. (And I’m not talking about a young woman in a short skirt!) He needs a No. 1 fan to cheer him on, support him, encourage him, and believe in him even when he isn’t too sure if he believes in himself. And ladies, that No. 1 fan of your husband needs to be you.
As your husband is out on the football field (in the boardroom, on the construction site, in the pulpit, at the office) he needs to know you are on the sidelines cheering for him, believing in him, and rooting him on. So how can you be his cheerleader in a practical way? By putting into practice the following attitudes and actions until they become habits. (This will help you C-H-E-E-R him on!
"C" - Come Alongside Him
In Genesis 2:18, after God created Adam, He saw that it was "not good for the man to be alone.” So God made a helper who was "just right for him" (New Living Translation). That helper was a woman. Our world often looks down upon a woman who dedicates her life to "helping" he husband; but the Bible teaches that a woman's role as a "helper" is extremely significant. When God said that He would make a "helper" suitable for Adam, he used the same word that describes the role and ministry of the Holy Spirit. In the New Testament, the Holy Spirit is called our "helper" - and He is also our counselor, comforter, intercessor, and advocate. The Hebrews word translated "helper" in Genesis 2:18 can also be interpreted as one who brings unique strengths and qualities to the other. These qualities, found in women, complete the union between a husband and wife. In addition, in the Old Testament, David states that God is our “helper” (Psalm 54:4). This shows that the term "helper" is not a derogatory or inferior term. It's a title of honor and great worth. In giving you to your husband as his “helper,” God was giving your man someone who was designed to act, in some ways, as his counselor, comforter, intercessor and advocate.
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