So You're Engaged - What Now?
- Friday, December 28, 2007
You're going to be a bride! He popped the question!
You're going to be a groom! She said yes!
You're both thrilled, and you know the Lord has called you to be husband and wife. Married! It sounds all too good to be true. But reality soon hits you. You have to plan a wedding! It sounds both daunting and delicious. She has always dreamed of being a bride in white, just like a princess. And maybe he has thought about being a Prince Charming. You want this preparation time to be the beginning of a long life together. This section will help you with your attitude and ability to deal with the pressures of this special time.
Preparing for the wedding provides lots of opportunity for you both to learn how you are going to handle issues in your future marriage. This is an important time for you--not just in terms of a wedding, but also in preparing for your married life. Planning a marriage deals with all of the tough topics of life--money, family, couple arguments, compromise, and so forth that you will face for the rest of your married life. As important as planning a romantic, wonderful wedding is, learning all that God has for you to learn in this time is even more important. It's a grand adventure. Let's get started.
What's Really Important? Your Walk With God!
COLOSSIANS 3:1–2 Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.
God wants to be at the center of everything that you do, even your wedding planning. He wants you both to walk closely with him during this process and grow ever closer to him and to each other. Yes, this time will be highly stressful, but he can give you the strength to respond and react in a godly manner to each other and to all the other people you'll be dealing with. Your first priority should be to determine that you want God to be glorified, and then you can use that commitment as the lens and filter through which you do everything. Keeping your mind set on that will raise you above common problems and stresses.
How Others See It
Anne Graham Lotz
"Have you invited Jesus to come into your home? To be a part of the wedding you are planning? To participate in your marriage? Marriage was His idea. He gave the basic ground rules for it. He knows how it works best. And He longs to be invited to come into yours.
Danny and I invited Jesus to come to our wedding from the first moment we were engaged. In fact, inscribed inside each of our wedding bands is a triangle that signifies there are three of us in this relationship. God is at the apex, Danny and I at the lower corners. Our commitment was that as we grew closer to God individually, we would also draw closer to each other."
Premarital counseling is an essential tool for going into your marriage with realistic expectations. Many churches offer premarital classes. All couples have a better chance at a happier marriage when they take advantage of as many preparatory opportunities as possible. Consider finding a mentor couple with whom you can develop a friendship.
As you consider the kind of wedding you want, have you thought about how the wedding customs of our "traditional American wedding" came about? The truth is that most of the traditions we think of and that we see at weddings in America were influenced by the traditions of our ancestors who came from many different parts of the world. In the past, America was called "a melting pot," meaning that many things contributed to and melted together to form the culture we call "American" today, and that certainly applies to weddings.
Here are some interesting ideas about where some of those influences came from--just keep in mind that historians and experts don't always agree on these things, but it's still fascinating to think of them:
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