The right word at the right time is like a custom-made piece of jewelry (Proverbs 25:11, The Message).

  • Beware of the power of your words, both for healing and for hurting.  The goal of good marital communication is “more light than heat.”

The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit (Proverbs 18:21).

An anxious heart weighs a person down, but a kind word cheers him up (Proverbs 12:25).

The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (Proverbs 15:4).

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones (Proverbs 16: 24).

When words are many, sin is not absent, but the one who holds his tongue is wise (Proverbs 10:19).

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing (Proverbs 12: 18).

  • Focus on listening to your mate — really listening — before speaking.  Listen with two sets of ears: to the obvious words of the mouth and the not so obvious words of the heart.

The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil (Proverbs 15:28).

Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent, and discerning if he holds his tongue (Proverbs 17:28).

The one who answers before listening — that is his folly and his shame (Proverbs 18:13).

  • Look for things for which you can praise your mate — there are more than enough for daily appreciation.  Praise is the daily bread of good marital communication.  Thank God for the gift of your mate.

A man is praised according to his wisdom, but men with warped minds are despised (Proverbs 12:8).

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.  Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate [i.e., the town council] (Proverbs 31:30-31).

© 2003 Christian Family Life

Two Becoming One publications and small group resources help couples understand God's purposes, principles and provisions for marriage.  Many key concepts in Two Becoming One are taught in the popular FamilyLife Ministry marriage seminars.

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