The Secret to Protecting Your Marriage from Infidelity
- Thursday, December 12, 2002
The reason that the hotel placed the danger signs away from the water's edge was to create a buffer zone. In other words, they wanted to leave room for error. This way if someone made a mistake and crossed the line, hopefully they wouldn't be killed.
If you want to affair proof your marriage, it's important to draw a line and then stay a safe distance behind it. For each person the safety line will be different. Some people will not be able to take business trips or work late with a co-worker of the opposite sex. Others may not be able to meet a certain person for lunch or to work-out at the gym. Whatever the situation, determine where you need to draw the line. Since everyone makes mistakes, having room before you fall over the edge can be the difference between a compromising situation and losing your marriage.
4. Become Accountable to Someone
The final piece for maintaining marital fidelity is through accountability. Accountability is simply being responsible to another person or persons for the commitments you've made. If you desire to affair-proof your marriage, I encourage you to ask a good friend, pastor, bible study group, or co-worker for accountability. The important ingredient is having someone to ask the difficult questions. For example, "Did you compromise your standards last week?" or "Have you been getting your emotional needs met from someone other than your mate?" Ideally, these questions force us to carefully and prayerfully consider our choices because we know that someone will be checking.
If your desire is to build a protective hedge around your marriage, or if you and your mate are recovering from the damaging effects of an affair, by making the above four things a part of your life, you can melt the ice-covered sidewalks of your relationship, where trust and security are sure to follow.
For more information about the Smalleys, please visit their Web site at www.smalleyonline.com. You will find many resources to help you with all your most important relationships.
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