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Marriage Advice From A Christian Perspective

Traits of a Godly Wife

  • Dr. John Barnett Discover the Book
  • 2008 6 Jun
  • COMMENTS
Traits of a Godly Wife

You only get one chance in life to build a wonderful, Biblical marriage. It is worth the wait. Don’t squander one of the greatest areas of life by doing your own thing instead of God’s.

What traits should a woman strive towards to become a godly wife? Here are twelve:

1) A Godly Woman Always Seeks to be Modest in Her Dress. Then out came a woman to meet him, dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent. (NIV). (Proverbs 7:10)

By contrast, the ungodly woman's clothing points to herself and her body instead of her Father in Heaven and His holiness. Remember the words of Paul in the New Testament? God emphasizes a beauty of the unseen character. The flesh flaunts the body, God beautifies the spirit. I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes (1 Timothy 2:9, NIV).

2) A Godly Woman Always Seeks to be Holy in Her Conduct. Come, let's drink deep of love till morning; let's enjoy ourselves with love! My husband is not at home; he has gone on a long journey… (Proverbs 7:18 - 29, NIV)

A godly woman fears the Lord. She seeks God's will over the approval of anyone else on earth. Her fear of God makes her aware of the future consequence of her choices. A godly woman avoids any present situation that would be destructive for her future usefulness to God. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:19-20, NIV)

3) A Godly Woman Always Seeks to be Truthful in Speech and Motives. With her enticing speech she caused him to yield, With her flattering lips she seduced him. Immediately he went after her, as an ox goes to the slaughter, Or as a fool to the correction of the stocks, Till an arrow struck his liver. As a bird hastens to the snare, He did not know it [would cost] his life. (Proverbs 7:21-23,NKJV)

This deceitful woman is an ugly woman because she is self-driven and wants her way. Her words and actions lead the man on a path to destruction. A beautiful woman wears heavenly beauty as God's Word describes it.

4) A Godly Woman Seeks to be Gentle and Quiet. The woman Folly is loud; she is undisciplined and without knowledge. (Proverbs 9:13, NIV) She is loud and defiant, her feet never stay at home (Proverbs 7:11 NIV)

This includes disrespect, hostility, aggressiveness and cunningness. All of these qualities are bad news.

And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. (2 Timothy 2:24, NIV)

Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. (1 Peter 3:4, NIV)

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives, when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear. Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered. (1 Peter 3:1-7)

Moms and dads, what kind of woman are you raising? A wise woman or a foolish one? Does she dress in a way that draws a young man to think about her body and its enticements or her spirit and its beauty? Does she have a holy hatred of sin? Does she use her powers to get her own way? Does she manipulate by tears, looks and whatever it takes to accomplish her ends? Is she argumentative, easily quarreling and fighting with you or her brothers and sisters?

Or is she peaceable, gentle and easily entreated? If negative traits become ingrained in her character, the future could be at stake. One gifted expositor in writing about these verses said, “ ...we may say with a surgeon’s frankness, her home will be like Scarlett’s -- troubled, torn down, and literally Gone with the Wind.”

5) A Godly Woman Seeks to Care for the Home. She seeks wool and flax, And willingly works with her hands. (Proverbs 31:13, NKJV)

She manages her home well (Titus 2:5.) She loves to tangibly serve others with food and skills. She has a home that is open and hospitable and she is given to ministry to the sick and needy and less fortunate.

6) A Godly Woman Seeks to Serve Others. She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household, and a portion for her maidservants. She extends her hand to the poor, yes, she reaches out her hands to the needy. (Proverbs 31:15, 20, NKJV) She has learned the love of Christ for others.

7) A Godly Woman Strives to be a Person Who Can be Trusted. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Proverbs 31:11-16).

8) A Godly Woman Seeks to be Prudent in Financial Matters. She considers a field and buys it; from her profits she plants a vineyard. She makes linen garments and sells [them,] and supplies sashes for the merchants. (Proverbs 31:16, 24, NKJV) She is a saver not a spender. She can see beyond today alone.

9) A Godly Woman Seeks to be a Hard Worker. She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, and her hand holds the spindle. (Proverbs 31:17,19, NKJV) God puts a premium on hard work and so she moves toward it not away. There is no slothfulness, indolence or lack of motivation.

10) A Godly Woman Seeks to Do the Right Thing and Have a Good Reputation. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land. (Proverbs 31:23)

Moreover he must have a good testimony among those who are outside, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil. (1 Timothy 3:7)

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her (Proverbs 31:28).

11) A Godly Woman Seeks to Internalize Biblical Wisdom. She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue [is] the law of kindness. (Proverbs 31:26, NKJV). The Word is in her heart and life and so it comes out of her mouth. And when it does it is dressed in the clothes of the Spirit, gentle and kind.

12) A Godly Woman Seeks to Live Out the Secrets of Womanhood. Strength and honor [are] her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come (Proverbs 31:25, NKJV). The future smiles at her and her children bless her.

Is there any comparison? This kind of woman and daughter is a blessing to all. A builder of the home, family and community.

For more from Discover the Book Ministries, please visit  discoverthebook.org.

Read the companion to this article by Dr. John Barnett, "Beware of Becoming This Type of Man" at Crosswalk.com.