2. Celebrate this time together!  Do things you wouldn't normally do with kids -- take a non-kid friendly vacation, make love somewhere you wouldn't if you had kids in the house, encourage each other to pursue goals that you might not if you had kids right now.

3. Communicate!  Talk to each other about your feelings when you both want to talk about it.  Because this is such a deeply emotional topic give your spouse time to process before you jump into a conversation.

4. Pray together!  Talk to the Lord together about what you are feeling and commit your desires to Him.  If your situation warrants it, prayerfully consider options like adoption.

IV. Your Relationship with God

Your empty cradle affects your life in many ways, but your relationship with God will even more deeply affect every aspect of your life.  If we wrongly take responsibility for our infertility, it is because we do not understand that God is the giver of life.  If we blame our spouse or allow the disappointment to pull our marriage apart, we put our husband/wife on the throne of our hearts instead of giving God His rightful place within us.  Your relationship with the Lord will be the solid rock, enabling you to weather the storm of disappointment that comes with not having children.  Here are some ideas to help you seek His face in this circumstance:

1. Be honest with God; He has big enough shoulders for you to give Him your hurts.

2. Study the places in the Bible where a couple didn't have children.  Ask yourself, what was God developing in this couple, what did He want them to learn about Him and themselves through infertility? This has been such a blessing of hope to me!

3. Pray for a baby!  Scripture details many couples who wanted children and prayed for one.  We have dear friends who conceived after years of an empty womb when they asked for others to pray for them.

4. Learn contentedness.  Life is full of waiting and you will be a much better parent and individual if you learn the secret of contentedness in the circumstances God brings your way.

5. Be open to the Potter's hand.  Seek to give and bend to God's shaping hand in your life.  Embrace what He is doing and ask Him for the grace to live, feel and think about these circumstances in accordance with His plan for your life.

6. Trust God!  The Lord is up to something good in your life (Romans 8:28)!  My husband and I have talked about some of the purposes God might have for not giving us children.  We may or may not be right, but we understand that our lack of children does not equate an absence of God's purpose or work in our lives. 

Amidst the charting of temperatures and other unmentionables, may you find that place of peace in God, may your marriage grow in this season and may you be richly blessed as you wait on God to fill your cradle.

Originally posted October 2008. 


For a free one-month devotional for couples who are Waiting on God to Fill the Cradle  or for a list of Scriptures to root your identity in God's truth about you, contact us at info@InHisEyesMinistries.com.

April Motl and her husband, Eric, minister at their church in Southern California where he is a pastor on staff.  April is the founder of In His Eyes Ministries; a teaching ministry devoted to helping women see their life from God's perspective. For more information about the ministry or to sign-up for the weekly e-devotional, visit http://www.inhiseyesministries.com/.