Why I Stayed, Too: A Husband’s Focus on God Saves His Marriage
- Tuesday, January 17, 2012
Obey and pursue Him, and repeat that process over and over again. Submit to the plans He has for you, and to the changes He says are next for you. He knows you and your world inside and out. He knows it matters. It matters to Him. He is for you, even when no one else is.
Choose your friends wisely
We need others around us who are for us as well. The people you choose to spend time with will influence your values and decisions, especially in times of crisis. Choosing the right friends now is like choosing in advance to do the right thing later.
I avoid spending time with people who are negative about my wife or unsupportive of my marriage. At my lowest points I have deliberately sat myself down with men I can trust to speak truth and steer me straight. It works.
Build a common world
Husbands and wives live in different worlds. I don’t mean physical worlds, although that can be part of it, but worlds of experience, values, and understanding. For a marriage to thrive, there needs to be a healthy degree of overlap between those worlds. Lose it, and your marriage will turn toward a dangerous place.
For me, rebuilding that overlap started with simple things, like calling my wife on my cell phone when driving home. Like being responsible for the trash getting out each week, even if I had to call home from whatever time zone I was in to ask someone to do it. These days it includes investing my time in her work and ministry, and scheduling regular times just for the two of us. And picking my clothes up off the floor...
Pursue God first; choose friends wisely; and build a common world. These three principles work, with effort and diligence.
If you follow through on them, you can revitalize your marriage. But that’s not guaranteed. The guarantee is they will eventually revitalize you. Jesus said, “I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). That life is available in the midst of and through every hardship and circumstance. Don’t miss it.
Trent Coroy is an independent consultant, providing technical, marketing and business development services in the fields of photonics, sensing and communications. He serves in ministry with his wife Carla Anne, and recently contributed a chapter to her book Married Mom, Solo Parent: Finding God's Strength to Face the Challenge, which shares some of their story. Trent and Carla Anne have been married since 1993.
Trent is also the creator of Faithbuddy, a Christ-centered social networking platform that makes it easy to track and share your prayer online.
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