21 Principles: Who Am I as a Single Mom?
- Friday, June 25, 2004
Editor's note: In an effort to reach out to single mothers in the Body of Christ, Crosswalk is posting a series of articles by Hope & Help for the Single Mom based on their CD set 21 Principles of a Healthy Single Mom. For more information or to purchase the full CD set visit: www.hope4singlemoms.com.
I was going to a meeting I had arranged with a man about my ministry. When I got to his office, his assistant led me to the entrance of his office where he greeted me warmly with a handshake a bright smile. He then invited me to sit across the desk from him. After a brief discussion outlining the meeting he said; "Well Lori, tell me about who you are."
There are so many ways I could answer that question. I could have said that I was the founder of Hope and Help for the Single Mom. Or I could have said that I was an author or speaker, or a mother to my son Eric. I could have said I was a single mom. How would you have answered that question? What would you have said about who you are?
I replied to him; "I am a child of God". (John 1:12) You see, I've learned that the only person that I am is the one God says I am. God says that I am the salt and life of the earth, (Mt.5.13-14). I am a branch of the true vine, a channel of His life. (Jn 15:1,5). I am God's workmanship. (Eph.2:10) I am a citizen of Heaven. (Phil.3:20) I am complete in Christ. (Col.2:10)
Did you ever think that is really who you are? Would you ever respond that way if someone asked you about yourself? Do you really see yourself the way God sees you? God is more concerned about who you are than what you do. In his book, Victory Over the Darkness, Dr. Neil Anderson asks a very profound question: "Is who you are determined by what you do, or is what you do determined by who you are?" He goes on to say that knowing who you are in relationship to Him is the critical foundation for our belief system and our behavior patterns as a Christian.
So often we give ourselves false labels or accept false labels from a society that distorts the real truth about who we are. For many years I went around wearing a "D" on my forehead. It was a scarlet "D" that I gave myself from being divorced. I also thought I was just a single mom. One time in quiet prayer, the Lord asked me where I got that "D." He said it was not from Him and that is not the way that He views me. I can only imagine what Adam and Eve must have felt like when God asked them, "Who told you were naked?" The father of lies of this world wants to distort the truth in any way he can to make you believe you are something less than you really are. What turmoil and defeat we live in when we don't believe the truth about ourselves.
It wasn't until I accepted the real truth about who I am that my life as a single mom went from defeat to pure joy and confidence. I read the truth about who I am over and over and over again every day. I engrained the verses of 1 Peter 2:9,10; "I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession" amongst other verses that I listed above in my mind. It took a long time to strip past the many, many years of lies that I believed about myself to start realizing the truth. When you truly believe the truth about yourself, and remember, the only person you are is the one God says you are, your attitudes and behaviors change.
Last week I wrote about a woman who e-mailed me and said she felt like God's "throw away" as a single mom. I understand how she feels for I once felt that way too, even though I was a Christian. We must remember that to have victory in this world we need to understand and believe that we are a child of God now and that we are being conformed to the image of God. Our identity is in Christ and Christ alone. What He says about us, not by what we think of ourselves or what anyone else thinks about us.
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