Never....Often....Always

6.  We Also See Him/Her Mistreat Others

Your teen treats people, pets, or belongings in a threatening or out of control manner. You have to hide or disconnect the internet, telephone, television in order to stop your teen from blatantly and repeatedly using them inappropriately. Things of value are broken or lost by the teen with an uncaring attitude about it. You’ve had occasion to consider hiding your wallet, your keys, and anything having to do with money or valuables out of fear your teen may take them.

0----1----2----3----4----5

Never....Often....Always

7.  He/She Has Unusually Selfish or Self-Centered Thinking  

Your teen thinks he or she is the center of your family (or the universe), shows blatant disregard for other family members' time, feelings, schedule, or possessions. Manipulation or threats is used as a tool to get what he or she wants.

0----1----2----3----4----5

Never....Often....Alway

8.  Your Teen Refuses to Participate with the Family

Your teen refuses to participate with or have anything to do with the family, or displays a growing hatred for the family. There is constant conflict between the teen and one family member or another.

0----1----2----3----4----5

Never....Often....Always

9.  We're Seeing Extreme Peer-Dependence and Peer Attitudes

Peers have become the center of your child's life and it is seemingly impossible to keep your child away from them.  You see your child adopting their attitudes and taking on their appearance, their talk, and their activities. Your teen stays up most of the night taking phone calls from friends, instant messaging them, or sneaking out to be with them.

0----1----2----3----4----5

Never....Often....Always

TOTAL SCORE: ____________ (0-45)

Assessment Scoring:   If your assessment score totals 30 or more, counseling is recommended.  Please act swiftly to find a good local counselor specializing in teen behavior issues, or meet with your pastor or youth pastor to lay out a game plan.  If your teenager ever shows signs of drug or alcohol abuse, eating behaviors, cutting, or has threatened suicide, take immediate action, for they will not get better on their own and every day that goes by will make it harder for them to get past such behaviors.

July 8, 2009


Our passion at Heartlight is to provide parents with counseling and resources to help them deal with a defiant teenager and otherwise get through the often difficult teen years. Outside of our residential therapeutic program for teens, one of the resources we’ve developed is the Home Edition of our Dealing with Today’s Teens video training series.  It is designed for the parents of rebellious teens. Learn more about it online at www.markgregston.com.  

Mark Gregston is the host of Parenting Today’s Teens radio and the Founder and Executive Director of Heartlight Ministries, a residential counseling program for struggling teens which can be reached at 903-668-2173.

Mark’s Podcast:  parentingtodaysteens.org

Mark’s Blog:  markgregston.com

Mark’s Books and Tapes: heartlightresources.com