Mom: The Primary Influence in a Girl's Life
- Friday, October 14, 2005
So classrooms, youth groups, and friends — though beneficial — are not the primary learning community. It is the family. It’s Dad, and it’s Mom. Why? Dr. Tripp goes on to explain: "Parents have unique opportunities to instruct their children, opportunities no one else will have, because parents live with them."3 God has set children up with the best possible help right in their own homes. And while Dad’s leadership role is essential in the family, we want to look at Mom’s role in this article.
God has chosen Mom to be our primary teacher, to be the foremost influence in our young lives. She possesses wisdom from God for us, and He has chosen her to impart the qualities of biblical womanhood.
When we pay close attention to our moms’ teaching, the Bible predicts a splendid outcome: ". . . for length of days and years of life and peace they will add to you. . . . you will find favor and good success in the sight of God and man" (Prov. 3:2, 4). Following our mothers’ teaching will launch us into a lifetime of blessing and honor. What a sweet deal!
If you are reading carefully, you may notice who is not mentioned in any of these verses: substitute moms and peer relationships. Indeed, Proverbs often warns of the dangers of ungodly peer influence: "The companion of fools will suffer harm" (Prov. 13:20).
Now I am not advocating that you abandon all peer or other adult friendships. Godly relationships are gifts from our heavenly Father. A prudent mom will seek to position her daughter to benefit from the encouragement and example of other believers.
What if Your Mother is an Unhealthy Influence?
I also recognize that some young women may lack the spiritual guidance of a Christian mother. Maybe you’ve lost your mother, or maybe your mom is not a Christian or is an immature believer whom you can’t rely on for godly advice. You may find yourself discouraged as you read this; you wonder how you’ll ever learn to speak the language of biblical womanhood without a mother to teach you. But do not despair — you have not been left out.
In Titus 2:3-5 God directs all older women to train the younger women in the qualities of biblical womanhood. And God never issues a command that is not accompanied by the support we need to see it through.
So pray right now, and ask Him to provide a mentor. You are simply praying God’s Word back to Him. You are asking for His assistance to obey His Word. Imagine how eager He is to answer this request. Then go in search of a godly woman to train you in biblical womanhood.
However, when God does provide a young woman with a godly mother, the daughter must not neglect her mother’s teaching. A wise mother’s influence, guidance, and instruction are special blessings from God that we should enthusiastically embrace.
Getting Mom Back on the Cover
So, daughters, where is Mom in the magazine of your life? Is she on hand for all the important issues? Is she nearby in the pages of struggle and confusion? Does she pop up amidst your questions and decisions? Does Mom grace the front cover of your magazine?
Maybe you’re not sure. How about taking the following quiz to find out?
• Who is the first person you go to with a problem or a question?
• Whose opinion matters most to you?
• Whose counsel and advice do you respect the most?
• Whom do you go to for comfort in difficult times?
• Whom do you look to for guidance and direction?
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