2. I’m not able to tuck my kids into bed and/or pray with them every night.

The Lie: “Because I’m not able to pray with my kids every night, they may not get as much Christian upbringing as they normally would if I was there full time.”

The Truth: “The righteous man walks in his integrity; his children are blessed after him.” Proverbs 20:7 (NKJV). This is one that I struggled with for years. Despite whatever is being taught at the other home, as fathers we still have spiritual authority over our kids, and as Ezekiel 22:30 states, the ability to “stand in the gap” on behalf of them before the Lord. Trust me, when we walk solid and they see it, it will have a greater impact on their lives than we may know.  

3. My child only gets to participate in some activities part time.

The Lie: “Your child can’t ever become fully involved in certain activities because of split custody arrangements.”

The Truth: “For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” -2 Corinthians 4:17-18 (NIV) As with any parents (married or not) with sons and daughters in sports and whatnot, scheduling is always a factor. Even if you do place your child in recreational activities and custody time does not allow full participation, YOUR participation is what really matters. Look at it this way. What do you think is more important: a married father who rarely makes his son’s games or his daughter’s concerts, or a single dad who was there every opportunity he got? The latter is one of the eternal factors that will matter then most when our children are full grown.  

Matt Haviland is the founder of “A Father’s Walk” single dad ministry and the author of the book, A Father’s Walk: A Christian-Based Resources for Single Fathers. He currently lives in his hometown of Grand Rapids, MI and is a single dad to a beautiful 6 year old little girl. For more information on the ministry, please visit www.afatherswalk.org.  

Publication date: January 17, 2013