4 Lies Culture Tells us About Living Together Before Marriage
- Tuesday, May 06, 2014
“So…are you engaged yet?” the hairstylist asked her client with a smile.
Sitting in the chair across the way, my ears perked up. This should be an interesting conversation to eavesdrop on (yes, I confess I am an eavesdropper).
“No,” the athletic blonde man replied.
“What? How long have you been together now?”
“Four years,” he casually replied.
That’s a pretty long time, I thought to myself.
“Has your girlfriend asked about it?”
“Well, come on man, you’re not getting any younger,” she teased.
“I know. I know. I was twenty-eight when we met, now I’m thirty-two.”
Okay, mister, you’re no spring chicken. Why are you taking so long? And why in the world is she still with you?
“Well, I’m gonna keep pestering you until you propose. So when are you going to pop the question?”
Good, Ms. Hairstylist! Keep encouraging him. He needs to make a commitment or move on!
“I’m not sure…” he said awkwardly.
What? You’re not sure after four years?
Sensing his discomfort, the hairstylist immediately switched to a more comforting tone. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not that simple. It’s a big decision, and you have to think about it seriously. I’m just giving you a hard time.”
Well, he needs someone to give him a hard time!
“Yeah, well...we did just get a puppy!” When he said that, his tone changed, as though sharing a dog with his girlfriend made him more committed to the relationship.
Okay, The furthest his commitment goes at this point is joint custody of a puppy. This is so backwards. Run away, girlfriend. RUN AWAY from this guy!
“Really! Aw, I’m proud of you!” Ms. Hairstylist exclaimed.
Culture’s Warped Views
Remember that old nursery rhyme from elementary school?
John and Sally sitting in a tree
First comes love,
Then comes marriage
Then comes Sally with a baby carriage
Now I guess we could rewrite it like this:
John and Sally sitting in a tree
First comes house,
Then comes schnauzer,
Then comes Sally with a pre-nup paper.
I mean, that would be more accurate of our society today, wouldn’t it? “In just two generations the number of cohabiting couples has skyrocketed, from 439,000 to 5.4 million.” Culture wants us to believe that we should accept this is the new normal.
Neither is cohabitation limited to non-Christians. According to the Barna Group, 37 percent of cohabiters profess to be Christians. And recent polls indicate that 49 percent of youth between the ages of thirteen and seventeen who have attended church in the last week approve of cohabitation. Culture promotes moving in together as the most logical step in a relationship.
Even the children’s programs are promoting it! I recently saw a Disney channel sitcom where an elementary school girl asked her teenage sister if she felt committed enough to her boyfriend to move in with him. I was flabbergasted when I heard that come out of the little actress’s mouth. Why was an elementary age girl modeling that attitude on a kid’s television program? It’s crazy.
But just because it’s the cultural norm mean we have to accept it. In fact, we shouldn’t, because it’s based on a bunch of lies.
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- The Cohabitation Revolution: Kids Pay the Price
- Cohabitation: What About the Children?
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