Do you ever wonder if the person you’re dating is God’s best choice of a mate for you but the answer isn’t clear?

Determining the person God wants you to spend the rest of your life with is a critical decision, one that requires putting put aside personal agendas and desires, in order to consider the most important thing:  What is God trying to tell me about this relationship?

Below are some characteristics that I believe are consistent with the kind of person God would provide for you to spend your life with, assuming you are His best for someone else. It works both ways. God will not give you His best if you are not already His best for someone else. So make sure to measure yourself against these criteria as well.


Ask:  Does this person seek out God willingly and eagerly on his or her own? When it comes to growing spiritually, does he/she read the Bible, pray, and go to church even without me? Does this person have a passion for God?
Remember:  God’s best will have a growing relationship with Him that is genuine, fresh, and intimate in a way that is noticeably working out in their life consistently. In short, he/she won’t be able to leave God alone with or without you.


Ask:  Does this person pray regularly? Does he/she easily pray with me or in front of others? Does he/she talk about personal prayer concerns and answered prayers?
Remember:  A marriage without prayer is like a light bulb with no electricity. God’s best will be someone who is conversing with Him on a regular basis to obtain direction in life, intimacy with God, and to invest in the lives of others.


Ask:  Is this person determined to wait until marriage to have sex? Do his/her actions match his/her words when he/she tells me he/she wants to be pure and honor God before marriage? Does this person work hard to avoid a physical relationship, avoiding the limits and demonstrating a commitment to honoring my purity above his/her own selfish interests?
Remember:  I believe a great ‘barometer’ of a person’s walk with God is whether he/she tries to entice you into sexual sin or not. If he/she truly loves God and wants to be obediently set apart for Him, there won’t be any excuses, playing with fire, or compromises. This person will honor God above his/her own selfish desires, and because of that he/she will honor and love you enough to protect your body until marriage as well.


Does this person ask for help? Does he/she admit when he/she is wrong and say “I’m sorry”? Does he/she seek out godly counsel? Does he/she respect God-given authority in his/her life? Is he/she repentant and obedient in matters with God?
Remember:  If a guy/gal is teachable with you and others, he/she will likely be teachable with God. There is no greater security in marriage (especially for women in the matter of submitting to their husbands) than trusting a mate who is teachable before God and seeking His will above his/her own. A man or woman who is living to please God is someone you can trust with important decisions. Also, someone who willingly gives permission to others to speak truth into his/her life is a very wise and teachable person.


Ask:  Does this person tell you the truth even when it’s hard? Does he/she communicate openly about his/her feelings, struggles, past, and failures? Does this person take responsibility for his/her actions (own up) when he/she does something wrong or hurtful? Does he/she ever twist the truth or minimize to get out of trouble or make himself/herself look better?
Remember:  Counting on your partner’s word in marriage is vital. In a dating relationship, there should be all the signs of honesty and openness. The person you are dating should be willing to open up and talk about the hard areas of his/her life, he/she shouldn’t try to hide or twist truth, and he/she should take responsibility when he/she does something wrong. He/she shouldn’t even be afraid to admit when he/she messes up.