So over the next few weeks, we made our plans, and the day finally arrived. I was less nervous than I expected; that was until the moment he knocked on the front door. I felt like I was going to vomit as I said “hello” and invited him in. We sat at the same dining room table where I’d eaten all my meals growing up, and it just all felt a little weird.

 

As I looked over at him, I noticed he was a little cuter than his picture, and soon the flu-like rumblings of my stomach eventually stopped. We decided to drive to a nearby city to hang out; and surprisingly, the conversation came as easily as it had on the phone.

All in all, a pretty good day. I figured that if you could spend most of the day in a car listening to music and talking without running out of subject matter that it probably was a good sign.

But yet what I failed to feel were any of the heart flutters or goosebumps I expected when you’ve shared so much with someone over the course of a month and a half. But maybe that’s what mature relationships were like—maybe all of those symptoms I’d dreamt about having were overrated.

 

The goodbye was a little awkward later that day. I felt like Hugh Grant in <i>Notting Hill</i> when he told Julia Roberts the day was “surreal but nice” then decided it was a total “disaster” of a statement later on. I think I said something like “Well, thanks for everything. Take care.” Of course when I relayed this to my mom and sister later on, they made fun of me for a good 10 minutes or so. “Take care,” my sister said in a mocking tone. Yeah, it wasn’t exactly a shining moment.

 

But nonetheless, I thought things went relatively well, although I will admit everything was much more glamorous from a distance. I wasn’t sure where things would go next or even where I wanted things to go next. Was I fine with just being e-mail pen pals after we’d talked about so many things and actually hung out? And then he answered my question a few days later; and that was the end of it. Just like that.

 

I’m not really sure what he thought about everything that happened, as he never really explained with much detail. But I did discover something important as a result of the exchange: Sometimes you just have to go with your gut on things because that’s based on something significant—even if you don’t understand what that exactly is at the time.

 

The reason I’ve never wanted to meet someone online is because I wanted a better story to tell my kids someday than “Hey I felt a little down and out in the pursuit of love, so I took everyone’s advice and decided to search for it in cyberspace.” And for all the people who’ve found romance that way, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. It’s your love story, after all, and in the modern age, there’s plenty of enticing possibilities.

But for me, I’m hoping for something a little less “You’ve Got Mail,” perhaps even a little conventional for some people’s tastes. But it’s my story, and I know now that I don’t want to settle for anything less.

 

Christa Farris currently lives in Nashville, Tenn. where she serves as the Editor for CCMmagazine.com, the Books and Music Editor for CCM Magazine and the Managing Editor of Special Projects for Salem Publishing.