You can thank God not only for who he is but also for the things he's done for you.  If something is bothering you, share it with him.  If you want to ask him for something, go ahead.  If in his wisdom he knows it's a good thing for you, he will certainly provide it in his timing; if it's not, he won't (or he might even provide something better in the long run).  After praying, watch to see what happens in your life, and don't forget to thank him for his answers when they come.  God is like a loving father with his young child – there's nothing in your life he doesn't want to hear about.  If it matters to you, it matters to him!

Sometimes a conversation with God doesn't even have to involve an exchange of words.  I (Michael Todd( sometimes find my most meaningful times with God are spent in silence and solitude while watching nature from my screen patio.  Still your heart and mind, allowing God's Spirit to commune with you in the quiet. 

Sharing Your Love Relationship:  A Mission

Once you have an understanding of the things God cares about, you can begin investing your time in those things.  Service in a local church and other Christian ministries is one of the primary ways this happens.  You could serve in many different ways, so you should find ways consistent with the gifts and talents God has given you.  Take a "spiritual gifts inventory" or talk with a pastor about ways you might serve best.  Or just try some things:  play an instrument in the orchestra, work in a preschool Sunday school class, serve at a homeless shelter or clothes closet, participate in a visitation or evangelistic outreach, go on a mission trip overseas, or help with a summer youth camp.  Whatever you do, remember you are building your love relationship with God as you serve others (Colossians 3:23).  You'll be amazed at how reaching out beyond yourself gives you perspective and helps alleviate your loneliness and self-preoccupation. 


1John Piper, "Desiring God" (Sisters, OR:  Multnomah, 2003), 288.

Excerpted from "Soul Virgins Redefining Single Sexuality."  Used by permission of Baker Books, a division of Baker Publishing Group, © 2006.  All rights to this material are reserved.  Materials are not to be distributed to other web locations for retrieval, published in other media, or mirrored at other sites without written permission from Baker Publishing Group.

Doug Rosenau is a licensed psychologist and Christian sex therapist with the Intimacy Counseling Center in Duluth, Georgia.  A pioneer in Christian sex therapy, he is the author of the best-selling book, "A Celebration of Sex."

Michael Todd Wilson, a never-married single adult, is a licensed professional counselor and life coach with the Intimacy Counseling Center in Duluth, Georgia.